King for a day on a first-class sky trek<\/p>\n
By John Aglionby<\/p>\n
As part of the aviation theme, Ansett Australia and British
\nAirways provided The Jakarta Post with first class tickets to and
\nfrom Kuala Lumpur respectively. To assess whether the additional
\nfacilities are worth the extra charge, economy-class regular John
\nAglionby deserted cattle class to sample a taste of mile-high
\nluxury.<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): "Your mission John, should you choose to accept
\nit, is to discover if flying first class is really as luxurious
\nas most mortals imagine it to be."<\/p>\n
The order did not self-destruct in five seconds, but it took
\nme only a fraction of that time to decide to accept. I had
\nnothing else planned for the weekend and as I do not usually jet
\naround the region in first class, there seemed little reason to
\nsay no.<\/p>\n
So five days later, I stepped into an Ansett Australia 737
\nbound for Kuala Lumpur. "Ah, Mr. Aglionby, we've been expecting
\nyou." This sounded more like James Bond being captured than a
\nrelaxing junket to Malaysia. Had I made a mistake in accepting
\nthe mission?<\/p>\n
The glass of Moet et Chandon given to me before I had even got
\ncomfortable in the large spacious seat quickly erased any
\nforebodings I might have had. And stretching out, I could not
\neven reach the seat in front, let alone dig my knees into the
\nunsuspecting occupant's back.<\/p>\n
What I did notice, however, was the unnecessary muzak. Clearly
\naudible above the engine hum, a song in an indecipherable
\nlanguage assaulted my senses until takeoff. Why bother with
\nsomething so tacky, particularly when there is the personal
\nentertainment available?<\/p>\n
Ansett has been flying internationally for only four years,
\nbut it has leaped ahead of its competitors by introducing an in-
\nflight chef. The resulting cuisine was rewarded with the 1995
\nMercury Award, the Oscar of in-flight catering.<\/p>\n
But was his presence more show than substance, a gimmick to
\ntitillate the privileged passengers? What could he do that a
\nnormal member of the cabin crew could not?<\/p>\n
Once the airplane was safely in the air, Dave Saunders donned
\nhis whites and began explaining his job. "Basically, I can
\nprepare any meal you ask for at short notice, except a kosher
\nmeal, which has to be blessed in advance," he said. "Having the
\nfood cooked on board gives it a much fresher flavor, it really
\ndoes become an in-flight restaurant."<\/p>\n
As Jakarta-Kuala Lumpur is a comparatively short hop, there
\nwas little time to prepare a gastronomic extravaganza. But my
\ngrilled prime center cut of Australian beef tenderloin was as
\nrare as requested and came after a very tasty starter of smoked
\nsalmon and peppered rainbow trout.<\/p>\n
Could I catch them out by asking for mustard? Oh how naive of
\nme. Not only was mustard available, three different types were
\nbrought out. I dithered into taking English.<\/p>\n
The mango yogurt layer cake was a little dull, but really the
\nonly letdown was the bread. The excuse for a roll I was given
\ncould have been used for a cannonball in the siege of Mafeking,
\nexcept for the fact that it was a hollow mockery. It certainly
\nhad not been cooked on board.<\/p>\n
Half a dozen wines were offered, including a champagne and a
\n1994 Wilton Estate Botrytis Semillon -- the best down under
\ndessert wine I have ever had. And these came after the stiffest
\nof aperitifs. I thought there were rules about being drunk and
\ndisorderly on airplanes.<\/p>\n
Kids, whether in first, business or economy class get the
\nbest deal. They are provided with activity backpacks that would
\nkeep many a parent absorbed, to say nothing of their children.
\nPacks of cards, coloring books and puzzles make toothpaste and a
\ndisposable razor pale into insignificance by comparison.<\/p>\n
After a smooth touchdown, I continued the luxury theme (why
\ncome back down to earth even for a moment?) by checking into the
\nShangri-La. There I prepared for the return journey with good
\nfood, a relaxing massage and a night's sleep undisturbed by the
\npre-dawn Ramadhan call to prayer.<\/p>\n
Feeling even more relaxed than ever, I headed home. Would
\nBritish Airways be able to top Ansett's high standards or would
\nit be a case of the colonists showing the motherland who's now in
\ncharge?<\/p>\n
British Airways, dubbed "The World's Favorite Airline" did not
\nget off to an auspicious start. At the check-in desk, I was told
\nfirst class was "very full" and would I mind going business.
\n"Yes" was what I wanted to say but not wanting to cause a fuss
\nand knowing I could get my revenge, I did not object.<\/p>\n
Then I was refused admission to the executive lounge. My
\nboarding pass was insufficient proof that I was not traveling
\ncattle class and I had not been given an invitation. Not many
\nmarks out of 10 so far.<\/p>\n
Life improved dramatically on the plane when the ground
\nmanager said there was a free space in first class after all. And
\nwhat a wonderful space it was. By the end of the flight, I knew
\nhow caterpillars must feel, wrapped snugly in their cocoons,
\ninsulated from the outside world.<\/p>\n
It was really two seats facing each other with the main chair
\nable to fold down flat to form a bed with the facing seat.
\nIndeed, the only drawback was the total privacy; with no one
\ndirectly in front, behind or to the side, there was no one to
\ntalk to except the staff.<\/p>\n
The smoked salmon (again), barbecued beef strips, salad and
\nlemon tart was delicious, but perhaps lacked the extra touch of
\nje ne sais quoi a chef would have added. The only criticism I had
\nof the service or the food was, once again, the bread. Perhaps
\nall airlines should consider employing a new baker.<\/p>\n
Settling down to watch Mission: Impossible, one of 40-odd
\navailable films, with a glass of Mersault and an excellent
\ncappuccino, I decided that this taste of luxury could be
\nextremely dangerous. Would I ever consider flying economy again?
\nCould I let myself be seen mixing with the hoi polloi, having
\nsampled the delights of first class?<\/p>\n
There is only one way out. Become a vegetarian. Because then,
\naccording to Dave the chef, I would get business or first class
\nservice in economy.<\/p>\n
Having landed gently at Soekarno-Hatta, I came down to earth
\nwith a bump. There waiting for me was no glistening limousine,
\nbut just a battered President taxi. Welcome home.<\/p>",
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