Internet chatting leads to excitement and disappointment<\/p>\n
By Emmy Fitri<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): \"I recently broke up with my boyfriend whom I
\nmet at a chat board. I realize that this relation is virtual --
\ncyberlove -- but why is the pain so real?\" a 24-year-old woman
\nwrote in an agony column in one of the leading dailies.<\/p>\n
\"Relationships on the Internet are very artificial. People
\nwill only know small aspects of one personality. You still have
\nto find out more about your new friend's personality by getting
\nalong in the real world,\" replied noted psychologist Leila Ch.
\nBudiman.<\/p>\n
Socialization through wires, either those of the Internet or
\nthe telephone, is not enough. The relationship should be
\ncontinued on a more down-to-earth basis, Leila added.<\/p>\n
The point was being made very clear here that online chatting
\nshould not always be taken seriously. Such communication should
\nbe complemented with real interaction.<\/p>\n
Chatting, however, has become a need for many. They can spend
\nhours chatting, not only at home but also in the office or at the
\nInternet cafes, a business which is now booming in the big
\ncities. You do not have to buy special software. This facility is
\noffered by many newly launched local portals - for free.
\nPreviously, chatter had to download the facility from Microsoft
\nor Netscape or from overseas portals.<\/p>\n
Entering the chat-room, you can become anyone you want because
\nyou can use an alias and hide your identity. If you are shy, you
\nare able to become outspoken in this cyberworld. On the other
\nhand, if you are normally rude, you can try to act like a very
\npolite person for a change.<\/p>\n
Businessman Herry Simanjuntak, a regular chatter, admitted
\nthat chatline aficionados can perform as they like and talk as
\nthey wish.<\/p>\n
\"It depends on ourselves, our maturity in responding. From the
\nbeginning, I have regarded the chatting arena as a place where we
\ncan communicate effectively, I can use it to develop my business
\nby getting more friends and more inspiration to improve my
\npotential,\" he said.<\/p>\n
Herry, a father of three children who resides in Pamulang, a
\nsuburb south of Jakarta, is probably one of the few who gets a
\nbenefit from his hobby. He has just decided to engage in an
\nInternet business venture with fellow chatters whom he met in the
\nchat-room.<\/p>\n
Recently Herry and his fellow chatters, whom he often met at
\none local portal, Astaga!.com, held a \"real\" meeting.<\/p>\n
\"Such a meeting will encourage chatters to be honest during
\nour chat time. Those who attended the meeting are people who
\nreally want to develop themselves, to find serious friends or
\nthose who are just curious. But, as a result, we will be more
\ncareful in talking the next time in the chat-room,\" he said.<\/p>\n
Herry, who began using the Internet a year ago, spends at
\nleast Rp 1.5 million for the telephone bill as he chats for hours
\nevery night.<\/p>\n
According to Harry, creating a virtual personality is not
\noffensive although it has no practical use. \"You will just waste
\nyour time. So be yourself and it's safe.\"<\/p>\n
He strongly believes that \"netiquette\" is definitely needed
\neven though he acknowledged that not all people abide by this
\nconvention.<\/p>\n
A chat-room in Satunet.com warns its visitors by giving advise
\nand rules on chatting before the chatters enter the chat-room.<\/p>\n
\"No color, no flooding, no repeating, no harassing, no
\nprofanities and no offensive actions on this channel.\"<\/p>\n
The rules are quite clear but most of the time the chatters
\nignore them so that it is possible for any words and images to
\npop up in the chat-room.<\/p>\n
Chatter F. Siswadi, a student living in the Netherlands,
\nadmitted that he often just sends bad words to the chat-room when
\nhe is in a bad mood or feels bored.<\/p>\n
\"Why not, it's just a way to get some fun. Nobody will know us
\nand it's too bad that some portals in Indonesia, which provide
\nchat facilities, do not also equip themselves with software to
\nrecognize our IP address,\" he said in an e-mailed interview.<\/p>\n
Before the Internet boom hit the country, he spent most of his
\ntime, after surfing the Internet, in chatting through some famous
\nportals like yahoo.com or aol.com.<\/p>\n
\"They have a type of software that recognizes us. If I enter
\nwith one nick and reenter the room with a different nick after
\nbeing kicked out for sending the \"F\" word, I will be rejected.
\nThat's the cost,\" he said.<\/p>\n
Now he sits for hours chatting through local portals after
\nchecking out what is going on in Indonesia. Two or three chatters
\nhave become his close friends.<\/p>\n
\"If I return to Indonesia, I plan to meet them. They're really
\nnice...of course after a series of tests with e-mail and real
\nmail,\" he said.<\/p>\n
Thanty TY, a college graduate, admitted that she was also
\naddicted to online chatting. She spends at least two hours per
\nday in front of the computer monitor just for chatting and, as
\nshe has no computer at home, she has to go to an Internet cafe,
\nlocally dubbed a warnet (Warung Internet).<\/p>\n
She admitted that once she met a man who sounded nice in the
\nchat-room. They talked on the phone and made a date. But the
\nrelationship did not last long as she found out that he was
\ndifferent from what she had expected.<\/p>\n
She learned that one could be a slightly or even totally
\ndifferent personality in the chat-room.<\/p>\n
\"In my case, I'd rather be myself as I use my real nickname if
\nI enter a chat-room, unlike others who pick different names.\"<\/p>\n
She said that now she did not expect anything from other
\nchatters. If she felt she wanted to continue on to real
\ninteraction, she would rather adopt a neutral attitude and not
\ntry to imagine what this friend would look like or whether she or
\nhe would be as nice as in the chat room.<\/p>\n
Yet she admitted that it is still possible to find an intimate
\nfriend in the chatroom.<\/p>\n
\"Who knows, but I also want to make it real by communicating
\nby telephone or going out together,\" she explained.<\/p>\n
Another chatter, Antok, was once disappointed when he was
\nabout to meet a friend whom he knew from the chat-room.<\/p>\n
\"We wanted to catch a movie and so we met at a mall. He was
\nnot as much fun as in the chat-room,\" he said.<\/p>\n
Antok, working at for a private television in its IT
\ndepartment, has all the time in the world to surf the Internet
\nfrom his desk top. He can spend up to six hours chatting during
\nhis spare time.<\/p>",
"url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/internet-chatting-leads-to-excitement-and-disappointment-1447893297",
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