Indonesian dads get no appreciation<\/p>\n
\"Dad, what do you want me to buy you for Father's Day?\" asked
\nHerry, Pak (Mr.) Zul's oldest son, all the way from another
\ncontinent.<\/p>\n
Pak Zul was speechless, unable to give an answer. As far as he
\nknew, there was only Mother's Day, Children's Day and No-Tobacco
\nDay. He had never heard of Father's Day.<\/p>\n
\"June 16 is celebrated around the world as Father's Day,\"
\nHerry explained impatiently.<\/p>\n
\"Who celebrates it?\" asked Pak Zul absentmindedly.<\/p>\n
He is not alone in his confusion. In Indonesia, there is no
\nsuch thing as Father's Day. Gender-wise, during the year, we
\ncelebrate three days dedicated to women: Kartini Day in April,
\nInternational Mother's Day in May and Mother's Day in December.
\nNo day is celebrated as far as fathers are concerned.<\/p>\n
\"Fathers in Indonesia are the real endangered species,\"
\ncommented Lukman, my fellow teacher.<\/p>\n
He has good reason to say so. His family is not a happy one.
\nHe works himself to the bone to make ends meet. After
\nregular working hours, he gives private lessons to high-school
\nstudents. But his beautiful wife was not satisfied.<\/p>\n
She needed extra money to buy cosmetics and accessories to
\nmake her look \"normal\" like those women she sees on TV. A couple
\nof months ago, the young lady ran off with another man, leaving
\nLukman a single parent. Now he has to take care of two children
\nand at the same time earn a living.<\/p>\n
In commemoration of International Mother's Day last May, the
\ninstitution where I teach conducted a postcard-designing
\ncompetition. And did we get responses! Hundreds of young students
\ncompeted to win the grand prize, a box of chocolates.<\/p>\n
The cards came in a wide variety of designs, expressing the
\nparticipants' respect to the women who had \"brought\" them into
\nthis wonderful world, taking the role of the fathers for granted.<\/p>\n
The contents of the cards ranged from something simple, like
\n\"You are the greatest Mom in the world\", to bombastic prose
\nexpressing dedication to mothers.<\/p>\n
Following this success, we conducted a similar competition to
\ncommemorate International Father's Day. In order to attract
\nparticipants, Achmad personally spent his own money to provide
\nthe grand prize, a cell phone!<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, when the deadline came, all we received were
\ntwo cards, both from boys.<\/p>\n
And the messages were so simple. One card said, \"My father is
\na good man\" and the other said \"Dad, I love you for your kindness
\nto Mom\".<\/p>\n
\"This is not fair,\" said Harry. \"Fathers are usually the
\nbreadwinners of the family. Fathers patch the leaking roofs,
\nrepair their children's bicycles and protect families from
\nthreats. While all the mothers do is watch sinetron (Indonesian
\nsoap operas) all day!\"<\/p>\n
\"Have you ever heard of a father who died delivering a baby?\"
\nsnapped Nita, another fellow teacher. \"Mothers risk their lives
\nto give birth to babies. And to raise them is no piece of cake.
\nSurely they deserve some kind of appreciation?\"<\/p>\n
\"How about those fathers who risk their lives to put food on
\nthe table? At least one night-time taxi driver is killed or
\ntortured by robbers every month. And how many fathers have been
\nlost at sea when earning a living? Not to mention those who get
\nkilled in military operations.\"<\/p>\n
The heated argument could go on forever, but the belief that
\nmothers deserve extra love and care as \"weak\" creatures is
\nundeniable. It has been taught to us since day one.<\/p>\n
Listen to our national anthem. Every year, in commemoration of
\nIndependence Day, we renew our vows to, \"stand right there\/to be
\nthe guardian of our mother\". Every time a student is asked what
\ntheir main duty is, the most likely answer will be \"to help my
\nmother\".<\/p>\n
Anything good is dedicated to mothers. The phrases \"Mother
\nNature\" and \"Mother Earth\" are only some examples. A computer
\ndesigner even dedicated his (her?) invention to a mother and put
\n\"motherboard\" among the parts of the sophisticated thing.<\/p>\n
Where the hell are the Indonesian fathers?<\/p>\n
Apparently, masculinity has put them in a place where a token
\nof appreciation comes differently. Fathers are praised, but not
\nin the form of pompous expression. Surely they need something
\nsuch as a Father's Day to look forward to?<\/p>\n
So, back to Pak Zul. When his son insisted on buying him
\nsomething for International Father's Day, he finally decided on
\nsomething.<\/p>\n
\"OK, son. Buy me a couple of the latest CDs of Ricky Martin.
\nYou know how much your Mom loves that singer.\"<\/p>\n
Now, here we go again!<\/p>\n
-- Carl Chairul<\/p>", "url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/indonesian-dads-get-no-appreciation-1447893297", "image": "" }, "sponsor": "Okusi Associates", "sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com" }