I survived -- to write<\/p>\n
Nani Afrida, The Jakarta Post, Banda Aceh<\/p>\n
Maybe I'm just fortunate. I wasn't among the victims -- at least
\nhalf of the Banda Aceh population -- who were swept away on Dec.
\n26.<\/p>\n
I've never experienced anything so terrible. I was shocked and
\nconfused. Half of our pretty town was flattened. The places I
\nused to visit were gone. Many people I knew were suddenly
\n\"missing\".<\/p>\n
I live on the outskirts of the town; it isn't an elite area,
\nbut it was safe -- but only just: it was 500 meters from the
\napproaching edge of the black waves that swallowed a vast area of
\nthe town.<\/p>\n
Of course, during the strong earthquake that hit about 30
\nminutes earlier, the probability of the waves reaching us never
\ncrossed my mind as I was taking pictures of its aftermath.<\/p>\n
Then I met my friend Jairin from the Medan-based Waspada
\ndaily. He wasn't covering any story. He was crying, in a panic,
\ntrying to find his wife. He said her hand had slipped from his
\ngrasp when they were running from the waves...<\/p>\n
Everyone else was running around, trying to find their
\nfamilies, their loved ones who had suddenly vanished in only a
\nmatter of seconds.<\/p>\n
I know I'm a journalist, but it was the most difficult time I
\never had in doing my job. There was no electricity, no Internet.
\nEven if there had been, there was no way I could have
\nconcentrated enough to file a story.<\/p>\n
I was terrified that the tremors and waves would come again --
\nthe same fear that was overwhelming the rest of the town. I was
\nconsumed by the whereabouts of my friends: Were they dead? Where
\nwere they?<\/p>\n
It was a great relief to find a few of them. We met near the
\nlocal headquarters of the Indonesian Journalists Association
\n(PWI), exchanging stories and sharing three packages of instant
\nnoodles among six people. We cooked them with a branch off a tree
\nin an old saucepan that we found in the ruins. Thousands of
\nresidents had to queue for hours under the close watch of
\nsoldiers just to get their rations of rice and noodles.<\/p>\n
I went to Medan with a friend on the fourth day after the
\ntsunami and we returned with a car full of foodstuff and other
\nsupplies.<\/p>\n
Over the following weeks I still tried to write -- and failed.
\nAmid all these journalists coming here and producing fantastic
\ncoverage, I was confused. I would get a good idea, then it would
\nvanish when I sat in front of the computer.<\/p>\n
In each attempted coverage I met refugees who would retell the
\nsame tales all over again, the loss of family and property. And I
\nwould cry along with the retelling of dozens, and eventually
\nperhaps hundreds, of such stories.<\/p>\n
It may sound ridiculous, but I was a victim too. On the sixth
\nday after the tragedy, I managed to write my first story, and it
\nwas done with great difficulty. The stories that followed also
\nrequired intense concentration, so I only contributed a few
\npublished stories in the months immediately after the disaster,
\nwhile journalists from outside the province were writing and
\nfiling dozens of stories.<\/p>\n
In all honesty, I was in shock and grieving. I was depressed
\nand envious of other reporters who could continue to work.<\/p>\n
On the first day, a friend was able to manage some coverage
\nonly after she had found her father; I could only imagine how she
\nreally felt then.<\/p>\n
I began to think I was far from a good, professional
\njournalist.<\/p>\n
It was the most difficult period in my career, even harder
\nthan the moment the waves destroyed major parts of this province,
\nNanggroe Aceh Darussalam -- the name rings rather oddly now; it
\nmeans the land of peace and prosperity.<\/p>\n
I was virtually inactive for two months.<\/p>\n
Friends and colleagues from Jakarta reminded me how silly I
\nwas being.<\/p>\n
\"This is the big chance we've been waiting for us as
\njournalists. Why don't you use it?\"<\/p>\n
I knew this, but it wasn't that easy.<\/p>\n
Treatment for this mental state came through lots of
\nencouragement from all these friends. But the main therapeutic
\ncourse was to continue to visit the shelters and to hear the
\nsurvivors' stories -- but this time, mustering up enough self-
\ncontrol and focus to enable myself to maintain an objective
\ndistance.<\/p>\n
I realize that I must keep writing and reporting on the
\nconditions in Aceh. It is all the more important because this
\nprovince might be forgotten in light of the many disasters
\noccurring elsewhere, while hundreds of thousands live in distress
\nstill.<\/p>\n
I must also continue to write because there's a small
\npossibility that it's the only reason God spared my life.<\/p>\n
Nani began her career as a journalist in 2000 with the Banda
\nAceh-based Serambi daily; she is now the Aceh correspondent for
\nThe Jakarta Post.<\/p>",
"url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/i-survived-to-write-1447893297",
"image": ""
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"sponsor": "Okusi Associates",
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