Human touch: The missing language<\/p>\n
By Yohana Susanto<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): When we first come into this world, the only
\nlanguage we can comprehend is touch. It is said that touch is so
\nvital that new moms and dads have been bombarded with the
\nimportance of having hands-on contact with their babies.<\/p>\n
Loving, caressing and mothering babies is absolutely necessary
\nfor their survival.<\/p>\n
In 1915, Dr. Henry Dwight Chapin reported that in orphanages
\nthroughout the U.S. where babies were given adequate nourishment
\nand cleanliness, nearly every infant under two years old died.
\nThe mortality rate was almost 100 percent.<\/p>\n
He had discovered the policy at the time was \"no coddling\".
\nThe babies died from lack of touch. Nowadays, courses in infant
\nmassage are very popular, filled with concerned parents who want
\nto make sure that their babies do not merely survive but grow and
\nthrive.<\/p>\n
The human touch is the only language that babies can recognize
\nas a sign of love and security.<\/p>\n
As we grow older, society forces us to keep our distance from
\nthe touch of other human beings. At some stage in primary school,
\nchildren start to avoid being kissed by their parents in front of
\ntheir peers, even if it is only a goodbye peck on the forehead.<\/p>\n
Society continuously puts us at a distance from being touched
\nby other humans. Especially as adults in the business world,
\nwhere technology has become an integral part of our lives,
\ncombined with the strenuous reminder of the somewhat overblown
\nbuzz phrase, sexual harassment, the basic language of human touch
\nis being abandoned.<\/p>\n
We feel uncomfortable when someone shakes our hand a second
\ntoo long or when our colleague gives us a hug for our birthday.<\/p>\n
Nowadays, business professionals rely more and more on verbal
\ncommunications, even though they acknowledge that the concept of
\nbusiness communications consist of both verbal and nonverbal
\ncommunications.<\/p>\n
Verbal communications are composed of listening, speaking,
\nreading and writing. From the beginning of our lives, we learn
\nfirst to listen, then to speak, to read and finally to write. In
\nschool, we are taught writing skills the most, followed by
\nreading, speaking and listening skills, at the very least.<\/p>\n
In life, however, out of the four components of verbal
\ncommunications, a study shows that we use 45 percent of our time
\nfor listening, 30 percent for speaking, 16 percent for reading
\nand only 9 percent for writing. Thus, business executives are
\noften reminded that one of the most important skills they need to
\nsharpen is the listening skill.<\/p>\n
We are required to be both an active listener and an
\nanalytical listener. Always remember that listening is the better
\nhalf of a conversation.<\/p>\n
So, being an active listener is an important element to ensure
\na successful business conversation.<\/p>\n
Saying and doing something during a conversation shows that
\nyou are paying attention and responding. Allow the talker to
\nfinish his\/her talk.<\/p>\n
Then, say \"I agree\" or \"I also have the same experience\" and
\nthen give the talker your opinion or ask a question or two.<\/p>\n
In business conversations, we also have to give support. Do
\nnot merely say \"I agree\" but rather give supporting sentences,
\nsupporting facts or complementing ideas. Most importantly, an
\nactive listener should be able to expand a conversation and
\ndirect it to the desired track. Do not let others derail you from
\nthe desired topic of discussion.<\/p>\n
Charles F. Kettering, the inventor of the first electrical
\nignition and self-starter for automobile engines, once said \"We
\ncan communicate an idea around the world in 70 seconds, but it
\ntakes years for an idea to get through 1\/4 inch of human skull.\"<\/p>\n
This statement is very close with what we often experience in
\nthe business world. This is the time when we realize that verbal
\ncommunications are just not enough.<\/p>\n
In communications, a study indicates that the words chosen
\nonly have 7 percent influence on the grasp of given information.
\nHow we communicate, such as tone of voice, loudness and rate of
\nspeech, gives 38 percent influence. The remaining 55 percent is
\ninfluenced by nonverbal communications that include sign
\nlanguage, object language and action language. Thus, it is very
\nimportant for business executives to not only master verbal
\ncommunication skills but also nonverbal communication.<\/p>\n
An example of sign language usage is the sign use for
\nhitchhiking. Object language includes not only the way we dress
\nbut also our overall appearance. The most important nonverbal
\nlanguage is the action language. Action language includes the way
\nwe walk, the way we nod and the way we pat someone on the back.<\/p>\n
Action language is closely related to the basic language that
\nwe were once so familiar with, the human touch.<\/p>\n
As professionals, we are becoming more rigid and are starting
\nto lose our sensory being. The professional world, with its high
\nstress factors and high demanding situations, should be more
\neasily overcome with the power of human touch. As children, when
\nwe come home crying in pain, it is a parent's touch that seems to
\nheal every wound. It is with touch that we flourish to be the
\nperson we are today. Why can't we now rely on our coworkers or
\nfriends to give that feeling of comfort when we are stressed out
\nor overwhelmed, not with words but with action.<\/p>\n
A touch conveys more than just \"it's ok, we'll find another
\nway\". It is more than that, it gives the encouragement of \"Don't
\nworry, it's only a little setback, it's not your fault, we can
\nhandle this together.\"<\/p>\n
A touch takes away the \"blame sense\" when you are down, a
\ntouch makes you part of a team even after you fail.
\nEncouragement, comfort, support, sympathy and congratulations put
\ninto action, will be far more meaningful than any material
\noffering and words.<\/p>\n
After all, don't we all still have a little child inside?<\/p>\n
The writer is general manager of The Jakarta Consulting Group.<\/p>", "url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/human-touch-the-missing-language-1447893297", "image": "" }, "sponsor": "Okusi Associates", "sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com" }