How do you feel being a young woman today?<\/p>\n
Monique Natalia, Contributor, Jakarta<\/p>\n
With Megawati Soekarnoputri as the first woman ever on the
\ncountry's short presidential list, young women should not be
\nafraid of sexual discrimination, right? But what is really going
\non? Six young urban women gave us their experiences and opinions.<\/p>\n
Astrid, 22, West Jakarta: Even though people say that today we
\nhave globalization, emancipation or whatever it is, whatever you
\ndo still goes back to the smallest group that is closest to you,
\nwhich is your family.<\/p>\n
People say that you have to think globally, act locally, and I
\nthink it's true. You have to go back to how the people in your
\nsociety think, especially your family. It all goes back to gender
\ninequality.<\/p>\n
Like, even if you are a career woman you still have to pay
\nattention to your roles as a woman. For instance, that a woman
\nmust know how to cook, a woman cannot go out at night, and the
\nlist goes on.<\/p>\n
I really don't like all that discrimination. That's why ever
\nsince I was very young, I've always wanted to be a boy. Being a
\ngirl is very complicated; you always have to look pretty, neat,
\nand so on. Especially in my family's culture, which is Balinese
\nculture, women are really inferior. The simplest example would be
\nthat a wife in the Balinese culture has one main function which
\nis to serve her husband.<\/p>\n
Another example of the gender inequality can be seen in the
\ntradition of eloping for couples who come from different castes.
\nIf the woman's caste is higher than the man's, the man cannot
\npropose to the woman's house. They have to elope so they don't
\noffend the woman's family.<\/p>\n
The bad thing is that when the man does something wrong or if
\nhe turns out to be a jerk, like having an affair, the woman can't
\nblame the man. The man would say something like \"you were the one
\nwho wanted to elope with me, I didn't ask your family for your
\nhand in marriage!\"<\/p>\n
It's very bad, especially in Indonesian society where people
\ndon't have an open mind. Also because here family ties are very
\nstrong so we really have to listen to what our family has got to
\nsay.<\/p>\n
Rina, 22, South Jakarta: I think being a young woman comes
\nwith a lot of pressure. When I was a teenager the pressure was
\nmainly physical. People expect girls to be beautiful, white,
\ntall, thin, you know, typical of those girls you see at the
\nmalls.<\/p>\n
If you don't match those criteria, forget it! Now that I'm
\nolder the pressure is more about things I have to be able to do
\nbefore I become a mother and a housewife, like cook, organize
\nexpenses, you know, basically how to run a household. I'm
\nconstantly being reminded of those duties.<\/p>\n
It really bothers me because I don't think that only girls can
\ndo the cooking and all the other \"girly\" stuff, the man can too!
\nAlso I don't like to think that household chores are the only
\nthings I'll end up doing.<\/p>\n
Other pressures come from the society. In my circle of
\nfriends, even though most are liberals and very open-minded, they
\n(the men especially) still say things, like \"you really should
\nnot be smoking in public, you're a girl!\" What would people
\nthink?!\" But I don't care.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately, the validation of the gender roles that women
\nhave today does not only come from the society. It can also come
\nfrom the woman herself. It is because this patriarchal culture
\nhas been passed on from one generation to the next ever since I
\ncan remember.<\/p>\n
It's going to be hard to change all those ideas and values
\nabout how a woman should act. I think young women have to be
\ntaught how to fend for themselves. They have to be taught how bad
\nall this discrimination can be.<\/p>\n
For the future I am pretty optimistic, though, about women's
\nroles in our developing society. Many young women today have
\nlearned about gender inequalities and hopefully they will teach
\nthat to their children and so on. So hopefully in the next
\ngeneration women and men will stand together.<\/p>\n
Devie, 20, Depok: I think being a young woman today is fun.
\nToday's conditions for women are certainly better than how it
\nused to be in the old days. Before, women are only associated
\nwith domestic jobs, like caring for the children, cooking,
\ncleaning and so on, but now people are more receptive to the idea
\nof women doing more jobs in the public domain.<\/p>\n
I think women today are smarter. To me, young women today seem
\nmore intelligent, and they are also more daring. They are not
\nafraid to engage in some self-actualizing activities. They also
\nspeak up more. Before women are afraid to compete with man, now
\nsome women are leading the competitions.<\/p>\n
But still if a woman is too modern people still think of them
\nas weird. Most men don't like to date women that are too modern.
\nThey don't want women who can outsmart them in everything. They
\nfeel that women like that re too high to reach. The diamond is
\ntoo expensive to buy, so to speak.<\/p>\n
All this talk of emancipation is good, but sometimes you want
\nto show your feminine side. Sometimes I just feel the need to be
\nprotected by men but still I want them to do it with respect.
\nPeople say that women think with their heart. I don't think so --
\nwomen today do not think only with their hearts they also use
\ntheir brains.<\/p>\n
The bottom line is that smart girls survive in today's world,
\nwhile the dumb ones don't.<\/p>\n
Nanda, 19, South Jakarta: Frankly, I think that there is less
\ndiscrimination today than it was before. Like in my department,
\nof computer science, the number of girls used to be very small.<\/p>\n
Even as early as in 1994 for every 40 boys there were only
\nabout two girls. Now the percentage is better, girls now take up
\nto 40 percent of the whole population.<\/p>\n
Girls are also doing more jobs that used to be reserved only
\nfor boys. For instance, the position for the head of the school
\nsenate was only occupied by boys, now we have more girl
\ncandidates. When we are given projects by companies, girls used
\nto only do the secretarial jobs, while the boys got to do all the
\nwork. Now it's vice versa. Still, from the people who are hiring
\nthere still is discrimination. Usually when they give us projects
\nto do, they ask for the head positions to be filled with males.
\nIt's so unfair!<\/p>\n
From what I see outside, discrimination is still very obvious
\nin some fields. Take cab drivers for example. You hardly ever see
\na woman driver, right? I think it's because people don't
\nassociate girls with jobs that are dangerous or complicated. They
\nare associated with jobs in the social sciences, literature or
\nart. Women are also not trusted with important positions. Some
\nwomen are even paid lower than men.<\/p>\n
But then if we ask for a raise, the men would say \"you want to
\nbe paid the same amount as us, yet you get special privileges
\nlike pregnancy and menstruation leaves\". It really annoys me, but
\nI admit that it's true. It's hard if you put it that way, because
\nphysically women are different than men!<\/p>\n
I think women should have the same rights and position as men
\nbut they should not be higher, or in that case lower. There
\nshould be equality between men and women. It's hard on a
\nrelationship if the woman has a higher position than the man. The
\ncouple usually ends up quarreling all the time or in the worst
\ncases breaking up.<\/p>\n
Shiska, 22, East Jakarta: Because I often take public
\ntransportation sometimes I really feel the downside of being a
\nwoman. Every day I have to put up with those annoying catcalls
\nand hoots from men on the street and in buses.<\/p>\n
I don't know how to react to the sexual harassment since
\nreacting by getting angry will only make them happy that they
\nmanaged to get a reaction out of you. But if I don't do anything,
\nI feel so violated. How dare they do that and get away with it
\nwithout any reaction from me.<\/p>\n
The difficulty of being a woman is also visible in my family,
\nespecially because I come from a very traditional Batak family.
\nLike my dad, he is very conservative. Especially since he is a
\nRaja Adat, which is the person that everybody comes to when they
\nhave a question about traditions and customs.<\/p>\n
Because of that role he expects his family to be like him, you
\nknow, to follow all the Batak traditions and everything. While
\nBatak traditions and customs are really demeaning for women. Take
\nthe division of inheritance for example; only the men have a
\nright for the inheritance, the women get nothing.<\/p>\n
Another good example is the marriage arrangement. When a woman
\nis married to a man the man has to buy her. Seriously! He has to
\nbuy her with money, well I guess you can call it some kind of a
\ndowry. But still it means that the future husband's family has to
\ngive some money to the woman's family and in exchange of that
\nmoney they give him the woman. It's so degrading!<\/p>\n
My mom and my view of women is very different. My mom tends to
\nthink that a woman should marry fast, be able to cook and forget
\nabout high education. I, on the other hand, want a good career,
\nearn my own money, and I also want to be able to decide when I
\nwant to get married. I hate the concept of prearranged marriage!<\/p>\n
Gadis, 18, North Jakarta: I think that women today are more
\nexploited than before. Just take a quick look at the media and
\nyou'll see what I mean.<\/p>\n
Take television, for instance, there are all these commercials
\nthat advertise products that have nothing to do with women. I
\nremember this one for a motorcyle. But instead of the motorcycle,
\nthere is an image of this very sexy girl wearing a tight leather
\ncat suit with the zipper undone to below her breast line.<\/p>\n
Sure, in the background you can see a small image of the
\nproduct being sold, but get real! She's even saying things like,
\n\"You want this?\" and she holding a key but pointing it to her
\nbreasts. \"Buy that one first\", pointing to the motorcycle behind.<\/p>\n
Ugh, I hate that commercial. It's a good example of how women
\ntoday are viewed by society, especially by men!<\/p>\n
I know that the government and the media are always trying to
\npropagate concepts like emancipation and gender equality, but
\nthey should take a look at the entertainment industry and the
\ncommercials to find the things they should correct.<\/p>\n
As for myself, fortunately I don't face any discrimination.
\nMaybe it's because my family is very liberal and maybe also
\nbecause I am only in college and there isn't any visible
\ndiscrimination between men and women where I study. Maybe when
\nthe time comes for me to look for a job I will find some form of
\ndiscrimination.<\/p>\n
Sometimes when I look at vacancy ads in newspapers, I still
\nsee the words \"only male applicants\" or something similar. For
\nme, that's the kind of discrimination which should not exist
\nanymore.<\/p>",
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