Gus Dur: No ordinary father<\/p>\n
By Yenny Zannuba Rahman<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): He took me aside that night. I still remember
\nthe urgency in his voice. He told me gently, \"please be prepared
\nif I'm taken away.\" I nodded and did not say anything. I could
\nnot. What do you say when your father tells you he is going to
\nleave you?<\/p>\n
This happened several times and although I did not understand
\nthe political situation, I knew that being put in jail was the
\nlightest sentence he could have received at that time.<\/p>\n
That was about a decade ago. Back then, he was fighting an
\nuphill battle for change. Now, he is the number one man in this
\ncountry and people call him Mr. President, but to us, he is still
\njust Bapak (father).<\/p>\n
Bapak has never been a conventional father, let alone a
\nconventional President. He was rarely at home, yet his presence
\nwas, and is, very strong in our life.<\/p>\n
From an early age, we knew that Bapak did not belong just to
\nus. As long as I can remember, he has always been involved with
\nthe Nahdlatul Ulama (NU). He devoted most of his time, day and
\nnight, touring the country on behalf of the NU, a huge Muslim
\nsocioeducational organization.<\/p>\n
\"Talking to the people,\" that is what he called it. It is true
\nhe seldom had time to go to our schools to pick up our report
\ncards. It was always Mom to the rescue. But he would always try
\nto take us to a book store on the weekends.<\/p>\n
As teenagers we craved clothes and shoes. However, he insisted
\nwe spend money on books. It was his way of teaching us that
\npackaging does not mean anything, what counts is inside.<\/p>\n
This is how he lives himself, and we could not help but to
\nfollow his fine example.<\/p>\n
Fond of wearing sandals, cheap cotton batik shirts, a peci
\nMuslim cap and dark-rimmed thick glasses, he was the most
\nunassuming figure in Indonesian politics.<\/p>\n
While he does not look like a modern-day politician, he
\noperates like one and ended up winning first prize in the
\npresidential election in October 1999.<\/p>\n
Ever since I was a little girl, I have always been struck by
\nBapak's wisdom. He showed us that there are many sides to a
\nstory. And you cannot afford just to subscribe to one side only.<\/p>\n
For him, life is like light going through a prism.<\/p>\n
From one angle a person can see red, while from a different
\nangle another person might see green, or some other color.<\/p>\n
\"Can't you see all the colors at once?\" I once asked him.<\/p>\n
\"No, you can't,\" he said, \"because if you could, then you
\nwould be bigger than life itself. Then you die, because there is
\nno point in you living anymore.\"<\/p>\n
I guess this conviction has misled some people to conclude
\nthat he is often inconsistent. Bapak never pretends that he knows
\neverything because he believes that life is a gradual process and
\nnothing comes in a single package.<\/p>\n
He is willing to listen to any side of a story from anyone to
\nget a degree of understanding on the matter. Just like trying to
\ncatch as many rays as possible from the prism.<\/p>\n
Bapak introduced us to life's heroes, real and fictional,
\nfamous and unknown -- through his stories.<\/p>\n
He loves hearing and telling them. His favorite story, which
\nhe recites many times in his speeches, is the tale of a poor, old
\nlady.<\/p>\n
She sells fried tempeh in the market to pay for her children's
\nschool fees. Although illiterate herself, she instinctively
\nunderstands that education is the only way to secure their
\nfuture.<\/p>\n
This is an illustration of how a humble person can possess a
\nmodern way of thinking. For my father, her story is as enchanting
\nas any biography of a world leader. As it teaches a valuable
\nlesson in life.<\/p>\n
Listening to wayang (shadow puppet) stories is one of Bapak's
\ngreatest pleasures. He derives much wisdom from these epic tales.<\/p>\n
Fluent in Javanese, he memorizes the roles played by each
\ncharacter.<\/p>\n
His favorite hero epitomizes his strong nationalism.
\nKumbakarna, the brother of Rahwana, King of Alengka, slept right
\nthrough the battle fought by Rama against Rahwana after the
\nlatter kidnapped Rama's wife, Shinta.<\/p>\n
But when Rama attacked the Alengka kingdom, Kumbakarna rose
\nfrom his sleep and died defending the kingdom. Bapak says that
\nKumbakarna is like the NU, a giant that does not take part in any
\npolitical battle, but when it is needed, it will give up its life
\nfor the country.<\/p>\n
Life is about learning, something which never had a real
\nmeaning to me before Bapak shared his view on Kurawa and Pandawa,
\ntwo of the most famous families caught in a battle between good
\nand evil in the Mahabaratha tale.<\/p>\n
Contrary to popular belief that these two opposing families
\nwere the representatives of dark forces against the light, Bapak
\nthinks that life is not black and white. Bapak believes that the
\nPandawa are the people who attained enlightenment in life, and
\nthe Kurawa are the ones who were still in the process of
\nachieving that goal. Of course, they made mistakes along the
\npath, but that does not make them bad people.<\/p>\n
Everyone knows that my father has a great sense of humor. We
\nlove listening to his jokes. But more importantly, he teaches us
\nnot to take life, or ourselves, too seriously. The ability to
\nlaugh at yourself keeps you sane in this crazy world.<\/p>\n
Bapak tires us out constantly. Both physically and mentally.
\nDespite his medical history, he is a very strong man. He finishes
\nhis day at 11 at night, only to start it at 4 the next morning by
\nwalking around the palace garden several times.<\/p>\n
This is an exercise he has not done for almost 20 years, but
\nwhich he faithfully follows now to keep himself healthy.<\/p>\n
But the real strength comes from the conviction that he lives
\nto serve a purpose in life. This sense of purpose is the driving
\nforce that makes him able to weather any criticism against him.<\/p>\n
He is like a man who walks toward a certain mark and refuses
\nto be distracted by anything before he reaches his objective. For
\nhe believes, he told me one time, that \"the yardstick is within
\nthis,\" he said, pointing his finger to his chest. Be true to
\nyourself and listen always to your conscience and you will be all
\nright.\" His courage has always been a source of inspiration for
\nus.<\/p>\n
Bapak never preaches to us, yet he lives true to the virtues
\nhe believes in. He does not force us to be what he would like us
\nto be; instead, he shapes us by opening up our minds through
\nbooks, stories and homegrown wisdom.<\/p>\n
While he has taught us many things, he has also taught us to
\nthink for ourselves, even if it means we criticize him. That
\nmakes him a real democrat and a wonderful father.<\/p>\n
The writer, a former journalist, is the second daughter of
\nPresident Abdurrahman Wahid. The article is taken from
\nQuestioning Gus Dur, a book newly published by The Jakarta Post.
\nThis article is dedicated to her father whose birthday falls
\ntoday.<\/p>",
"url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/gus-dur-no-ordinary-father-1447893297",
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