First world appearance, Third World mentality<\/p>\n
Marina Mahathir
\nThe Star
\nAsia News Network
\nSelangor, Malaysia<\/p>\n
We pride ourselves on many things, we Malaysians. And well we
\nshould, because we just have to travel to some other developing
\ncountries to realize how advanced and easy life is in ours. We
\nhave just about everything here.<\/p>\n
We have good roads, most people have been educated (even as
\nthe education system needs reviewing), we can easily go see a
\ndoctor whenever we need to (though sometimes it can be expensive)
\nand we have a lot of leisure activities to partake in (even
\nthough most don't require us to do much more than sit down).<\/p>\n
We are very First World in many ways. But it's one thing to be
\nahead in appearances, yet another to be developed mentally.<\/p>\n
Take that oft-quoted Malaysian irritation, our driving. Is it
\nme or are our roads getting more anarchic by the day? Is going
\nthrough red lights, driving while sms-ing and changing lanes
\nwithout signaling now socially acceptable? Or throwing rubbish
\nout of the car?<\/p>\n
Recently, I saw a car stop just after a toll booth, the
\noccupants open their boot and blithely throw their junk at the
\nside of the road. I am half-inclined to put a megaphone in my car
\njust so that I can shout at such people: \"Shame on you!\" But
\nthen, considering they were doing it in full view of hundreds of
\nother drivers, they probably have no sense of shame at all.<\/p>\n
Or that other bugbear: Ignoring RSVPs. As anyone who's ever
\norganized an event or wedding knows, Malaysians don't RSVP. Or
\nthey won't until the last minute. Or they will say they're not
\ncoming only to change their minds at the eleventh hour.<\/p>\n
This causes enormous headaches for the hosts. And here's
\nanother rule: The more important you are, the more likely you are
\nto ignore RSVPs. You think that if you decide to just show up,
\nperhaps because you can't find a golf partner on that day, or you
\njust realized that you might be missing the event of the year,
\nthen the hosts will smilingly accommodate you.<\/p>\n
I once organized a private family anniversary party where
\nthree uninvited guests showed up. It was a small party with
\nlimited seats and it was hell trying to re-arrange everything so
\nthat these guests could join in. But they were simply so
\nunembarrassed to show up, because they were so sure that they
\nwere too important to be turned away. I've never been able to
\nlook at them with much respect since.<\/p>\n
Another major irritation is the way we sometimes show so
\nlittle respect to guests. While we can be extravagantly
\nhospitable, we do have some odd habits. One is talking away while
\nsomeone is giving a speech or performing some music. The person
\ngiving the speech or performing isn't deaf and can certainly hear
\nthe buzz of conversation from the audience.<\/p>\n
Only just recently a renowned jazz pianist had to endure
\nplaying to an audience that pretty much ignored her and chatted
\naway regardless. Small wonder she finished her set quickly and
\nwalked off the stage.<\/p>\n
Mind you, this type of rudeness is not limited to those in
\nfront of the stage. I was once making a speech and the VIP
\nonstage with me carried on a loud conversation with the person
\nnext to her, oblivious to the fact that the entire audience could
\nsee what she was doing. I guess it never occurred to them that
\nanyone would ever treat them with the same disrespect because
\nthey are, after all, VIPs.<\/p>\n
But the thing is, does becoming a VIP mean you can abandon all
\ncourtesy to those supposedly below you? Surely that only reflects
\non you and your upbringing. Winning elections obviously doesn't
\nnecessarily bestow class.<\/p>\n
How do we expect our young people to behave with respect to
\nothers when their leaders don't? Go into any store and how many
\nsalespeople actually greet you with a smile, attend to your
\nqueries or say thank you after you've purchased anything? But
\nthen, whom would they learn that from?<\/p>\n
We get disrespect from many of our leaders when we so much as
\nquery what they are doing, so that only sets the tone for our
\nyoung. If questioned, just give some glib answer and carry on as
\nif the questioner is a little irritating fly.<\/p>\n
We will never be developed until we learn to respect other
\npeople regardless of station and until we become more considerate
\nof others. We have to learn to think of others before ourselves,
\nto put ourselves in other people's shoes and learn to empathize.<\/p>\n
We might complain about the so-called decadence of the
\ndeveloped world but then they have more facilities for the
\ndisabled and those who are needy than we do.<\/p>",
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