Discipline the responsibility of both parents and teachers<\/p>\n
Simon Marcus Gower, Jakarta<\/p>\n
Recently the Letters pages of The Jakarta Post have seen a
\nflurry of letters concerning matters of school policies,
\ndiscipline and parental responsibility. The spark that lit this
\nfire of debate was a letter from Etie Dirapradja on Oct. 20 that
\nwas essentially a cry for help and advice.<\/p>\n
Although this original letter was in many ways quite sad to
\nread, it has been the source of some interesting discourse over
\nthe matters it raised. The letter entitled Who should be
\nresponsible? reflected on the fact that the writer's daughter had
\noften been locked out of school in the mornings because she had
\narrived too late and this had been happening without the mother's
\n(writer's) knowledge.<\/p>\n
The reactions to this letter have ranged from condemnation of
\nthe mother as a bad parent to condemnation of the school as out
\nof date and guilty of endangering the child's welfare. Whilst it
\nis probably reasonable to identify some degrees of guilt in both
\nparties, it hardly seems useful or constructive to condemn either
\none.<\/p>\n
Instead, once again, this kind of incident should highlight
\nfor us all the great need there is to develop partnership between
\nschools and parents to ensure, as far as is possible, that the
\nchildren are gaining positive and useful experiences by going to
\nand attending school. The child that is clumsily locked out of
\nschool simply because he or she is a little late cannot possibly
\nbe seen to be having a positive or beneficial learning
\nexperience.<\/p>\n
Indeed quite the opposite can quite easily be seen to be
\nhappening. For some students that unfortunate "threat" of being
\nlocked out may be sufficient to get them to school on time but
\nfor others it is a useful little rule that they can use to avoid
\ngoing to school altogether. For example, one student noted for
\nhis scams to get out of school would gladly admit to coordinating
\nwith his friends when they wanted to "show up late" for school
\nand so be locked out.<\/p>\n
For this, less conscientious, school student the lateness rule
\nwas something that helped him or her, effectively, skip school
\nand he or she would coordinate this with his or her friends so
\nthat they, as a group, could go to a mall or go bowling instead
\nof attending school. Here the apparent strictness of the school
\nis playing into the hands of these less conscientious students.
\nWhen their report cards show any absences they can simply account
\nfor them with a "Well, I arrived three minutes late that day and
\nwas locked out."<\/p>\n
Ultimately, the notion of a "threat" of being locked out as
\nbeing a useful tool or mechanism in guiding towards disciplined
\nbehavior is at best a tenuous one and at the most likely level it
\nhas to be considered as unrealistic and counterproductive. How
\nmany other settings or situations in life will students encounter
\nin which they are belligerently locked out from where they
\nbelong? Not too many, it has to be said.<\/p>\n
Some people would, however, quite reasonably and rightly say
\nthat the lesson of good time-keeping is an excellent one for a
\nschool to target. But lessons and the learning of rules do not
\nhave to come about through dogged determination and belligerent
\napplication through dictatorial behavior. Where lessons and rules
\nare applied in this way bitterness and rejection can accrue.<\/p>\n
Another example shows how this can happen. A particularly
\ndiligent student was attending rehearsals for her part in an
\norchestra performance. She had notified her classroom teacher of
\nthis and so had been arriving at school a little later but
\nallowances had been made for this. But then one morning her
\nschool principal caught her arriving late and without listening
\nto the student's explanations blindly insisted that the student
\nleave the school immediately as a "late student".<\/p>\n
This diligent student, who had always been a careful adherent
\nto rules, left the school in tears but returned the next day, not
\nwith a greater respect for the school's rules but with a seething
\ndislike and bitterness towards the principal who had blindly and
\nignorantly wronged her.<\/p>\n
This, then, is surely a key aspect to the application of rules
\nand the achievement of any degree of discipline. Good rules and
\ngood discipline should not be blind to or ignorant of the world
\naround them. They should be integrated into the world around
\nthem in such a way that they make sense for all; so that all
\nparties can see their wisdom and value.<\/p>\n
Should anyone, and in particular a school student, transgress
\na rule or fail in achieving the accepted level of discipline, it
\nshould not mean that the person is immediately ostracized from
\nsociety and is in some way labeled or "black marked" as a sinner
\nor wrongdoer. It is quite likely that there may be mitigating
\ncircumstances that explain why a person, and in particular a
\nschool student, has transgressed and\/ or made a mistake.<\/p>\n
Obviously repeat, as it were, offenses would signify that the
\nstudent is not learning to abide by the rules but it is surely
\none of the responsibilities of the rule-makers to investigate and
\nexplore why the transgression is happening and how it can be
\navoided in the future.<\/p>\n
One of the most effective ways of achieving this is through
\ninvolvement with the parents. The partnership of school and
\nparents has to be the most powerful and effective way of getting
\nto the root cause of problems and to their solutions. But sadly,
\nall too often, in Indonesia parents are not sufficiently involved
\nin the formulae for the provision of education.<\/p>\n
This was exemplified by that original letter of October the
\n20th in which the mother was left completely ignorant of her
\ndaughter's late arrivals for school and consequent rejection of
\nentry. The parent simply did not know and so was unable to take
\nthe simple step of making sure that her daughter left earlier for
\nschool.<\/p>\n
Children will sometimes not be open and forward in confiding
\nin their parents and likewise too school can be a forbidding
\nplace if rules are applied with too severe stricture and the
\nnotion of "calling a student's parents" is used as a threat. This
\ncan create a sense of isolation and exclusion for the student
\nthat can be very dangerous.<\/p>\n
Instead, rules and discipline should be looked upon as value-
\nsystems that we share; that are there to help us do the right
\nthing and make the right choices. We should see and act upon a
\nshared responsibility for discipline that is shared between
\nschool, parents and students. Then discipline can be constructive
\nand useful and not something that students live in fear or
\nloathing of.<\/p>\n
The writer is an education consultant.<\/p>", "url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/discipline-the-responsibility-of-both-parents-and-teachers-1447893297", "image": "" }, "sponsor": "Okusi Associates", "sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com" }