Death is just another beginning<\/p>\n
By Rahayu Ratnaningsih<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): I have been thinking about what I consider to be
\nthe single most fascinating subject a lot lately -- death. A
\ncolleague, whom I used to work with, recently died of breast
\ncancer. She was only 34, a mother of two with a bright promising
\ncareer. Despite her serious illness, nobody expected her to
\ndepart that early. It made me ruminate even more: how imminent
\nour death is. How mortal we all are, how vulnerable our position
\nis.<\/p>\n
Death can be around the corner, yet we know little of it: what
\nit actually is and when it will exactly come to fetch us. And it
\nis really non-discriminatory. We have seen the bold, the
\nbeautiful and the rich die unexpectedly: Princess Diana, John
\nKennedy Jr., Dean Martin. It may sound melodramatic and neurotic,
\nbut actually not. Only when you can accept and prepare for death
\nyou know how to live. And the meaningfulness of life is not a
\nmatter of how long you live but how you live. For many great
\nspiritual traditions death is even an opportunity for growth or a
\ngate toward liberation. Life and death are two sides of the same
\ncoin: death is the beginning of another chapter of life. Death is
\na mirror in which the entire meaning of life is reflected.<\/p>\n
However, a good number of us are not too pleased to talk about
\ndeath. \"Sure, sooner or later, we all are going to die, but let's
\nbe positive, let's think about it later when it is comes.\" But
\nno, I refuse to only think about it when I will be too helpless
\nto really come to terms with what is happening on my deathbed,
\nassuming my dying process is a natural, gradual one.<\/p>\n
Natalie Goldberg in her book Long Quiet Highway: Waking Up in
\nAmerica tells about her experience of raising funds for the Zen
\nCenter she helped run. One spring, they decided to reach out to
\nthe Twin Cities community in the hope of receiving some big
\ndonations. They worked really hard to prepare for the occasion;
\nthey would have a lovely Sunday afternoon tea and invite guests
\nwho could potentially contribute large sums to their waning
\nfunds. They set up card tables in the zendo (meditation room) --
\nthey did not want their guests to have to sit on the floor cross-
\nlegged as they did. They rented lovely white linen tablecloths,
\nthey baked small square tea cakes and thin butter cookies. They
\nserved tea from beautiful rented silver tea servers. They wanted
\npeople to feel the elegance of Zen. They wanted the guests to
\nlike them.<\/p>\n
Prestigious people came: lawyers, university administrators, a
\njournalist, even the owner of a downtown department store. There
\nwere about 30 people in all. After a time of tea and cookies,
\ncordial conversation, they asked Roshi (a nickname for a Zen
\nmaster) to come down and give them a lovely talk -- maybe he
\nwould talk about generosity, about being in the moment, or
\nsomething Americans are wild about from the movies: the samurai.
\nRoshi was ideal for a fund-raiser. With his erect posture, his
\nbeaming, alive face, he was just what you would envision a Zen
\nmaster should look like.<\/p>\n
Roshi came down the stairs in his black robes, stood in front
\nof the group seated at the tables, bowed, smiled, nodded, and
\nthen began,<\/p>\n
\"You know, all of you are going to die someday.\"<\/p>\n
No, Roshi, no, they thought, and the visitors drinking their
\ntea out of lovely white cups stopped their cups in midair, before
\nthey got to their mouths, the steam from the hot water covering
\ntheir faces.<\/p>\n
And at the end, as you might have expected, they did not find
\na dime in the donation box! The roshi often said to his students,
\n\"I'm sorry for you. I do not give you a piece of candy. I do not
\ngive you what you'd like, what would please you, but would not be
\ntrue. I do not feed your illusions.\"<\/p>\n
State of denial<\/p>\n
This illustrates how we, \"modern people,\" are secretly in a
\nstate of denial of our imminent death. Death is nemesis, because
\nmany of us believe that time is linear: we believe in a beginning
\nand an end. Though many of us are conditioned to believe in some
\nkind of hereafter, deep down we still think that death is the end
\nof our being: the \"I\" simply vanishes and that is the last thing
\nwe want to happen to us since the \"I\" is the only surest thing we
\ncan hang on to, or so we think. And the fact that we do not even
\nown our \"self\" really gives us the creeps, doesn't it?<\/p>\n
Sogyal Rinpoche, the bestseller author of The Tibetan Book of
\nLiving and Dying, expresses his shock when he first came to the
\nWest by the contrast between the attitudes to death he had been
\nbrought up with, and those he then found. In his eyes, for all
\nits technological achievements, modern Western society has no
\nreal understanding of death or what happens in death or after
\ndeath. He learned that people today are taught to deny death, and
\ntaught that it means nothing but annihilation and loss. That
\nmeans that most of the world lives either in denial of death or
\nin terror of it. Even talking about death is considered morbid,
\nand many people believe that simply mentioning death is to risk
\nwishing it upon ourselves.<\/p>\n
And others look on death with a naive, thoughtless
\ncheerfulness, thinking that for some unknown reason death will
\nwork out right for them, and that it is nothing to worry about.
\nWe rarely give it much thought until someone close to us passes
\naway, when we become more philosophical for a period of time
\nbefore the routines and pressing deadlines of our mundane daily
\nlives bring us back to our normal self again. One Tibetan master
\nsays: \"People often make the mistake of being frivolous about
\ndeath and think, 'Oh well, death happens to everybody. It's not a
\nbig deal, it's natural. I'll be fine.' That's a nice theory until
\none is dying.\"<\/p>\n
The Tibetan art of dying is to die peacefully, without
\ngrasping, yearning, and attachment. And we can all prepare for
\nit, now, so when our time comes, which really will not be too far
\noff if we are really honest about it, there will be no fear and
\nmental anguish. It sounds unreal, but why cannot we look forward
\nto our death rather than living with a heavy foreboding of it?<\/p>\n
The author is Director of the Satori Foundation, a center for
\nstudy and development of human excellence through mind
\nprogramming and meditation techniques, e-mail: satori@cbn.net.id.<\/p>",
"url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/death-is-just-another-beginning-1447893297",
"image": ""
},
"sponsor": "Okusi Associates",
"sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com"
}