Coping with differences between coworkers<\/p>\n
Galih Soewignjo
\nConsultant
\nINSpira Consulting, Jakarta<\/p>\n
Everyone has their own way of working and interacting with
\nothers. Most of the time, it works well and you are comfortable
\nwith them.<\/p>\n
People have different ways of thinking, making decision, using
\ntime, communicating, handling emotions, managing stress and
\ndealing with conflict.<\/p>\n
These differences, however, can lead to serious problems if
\npeople fail to adjust to each other. This may increase stress and
\naffect productivity.<\/p>\n
The differences are something that should be coped with and
\nmanaged so that they do not disrupt the working environment but
\ninstead increase productivity.<\/p>\n
This may be the reason why many business organizations require
\ntheir workers to have the competency to build productive
\nrelationships with their coworkers, despite their differences.<\/p>\n
If you can figure out how to bridge the gap between yourself
\nand others, you could make your work life -- and theirs -- much
\neasier, happier and more productive. People who relate
\neffectively to others have a more rewarding and happier life in
\nall facets of their experience.<\/p>\n
The challenge in turning such differences into something more
\nproductive lies with a person's flexibility. Flexing your style
\nmeans adapting and understanding other people's processes and
\npoints of view. It is not about changing or conforming your
\nopinion to others'. It's about relating constructively while
\nappropriately disclosing your perspective on things, as well as
\nlistening empathetically to others.<\/p>\n
The better the interpersonal process, the more likely that
\npeople accurately hear each other and creatively resolve
\nconflicting opinions.<\/p>\n
A relationship will also work better if some changes are
\nmade. However, forcing others to change to increase compatibility
\nonly adds stress to an already burdened relationship.<\/p>\n
It is better if the change starts from you. You don't need to
\nwait for the other person to come around to your way. You can do
\nsomething to improve things and should be focused on what makes
\nthe interaction more comfortable for the other person.<\/p>\n
Not only will you feel more in control, but your attempt to
\nadapt to the other person will often enable you to achieve your
\ngoals. When you make it easier for another person to work with
\nyou, that person usually changes his or her behavior in ways you
\nappreciate. As a result, both of you impact positively on the
\nrelationship. Remember, this is a temporary adjustment of a few
\naspects of behavior.<\/p>\n
Flexibility as a contributor to a productive relationship
\nconsists of a series of steps.<\/p>\n
First, it is important to correctly identify your own style
\nand that of the other person to whom you'll be relating.<\/p>\n
Second, plan for communication with others. In this step, you
\nsimply incorporate your knowledge of styles into your
\npreparation.<\/p>\n
Implementation is the next step. As you relate to the person,
\nyou make those changes in your own behavior that you believe can
\nimprove the relationship. When relating, a certain amount of
\ntrial and error is unavoidable. Always monitor the impact of your
\nbehavior, and modify both your plan and your behavior.<\/p>\n
Flexibility is a very useful way of bridging the differences
\nbetween people, but it is still not enough to create a productive
\nrelationship.<\/p>\n
The way virtually everyone wants to be treated is the
\nfoundation of a constructive relationship. Strong relationships
\nare built by being consistently honest, fair and respectful
\ntoward others.<\/p>\n
To treat others fairly is to act justly and without bias
\ntoward them. That means seeking win-win approaches and making
\nsure the scales aren't tipped unduly in your direction. Respect
\nis based on the notion that every other individual is a person,
\nexpressed through nondisparaging communication and by putting
\nothers at ease through the use of good manners.<\/p>\n
Think about your way of working and relating. Knowing your
\ndifferences, combined with being honest, fair and respectful to
\nothers, will help you achieve your goals, repair bad
\nrelationships and make good relationships even better.<\/p>",
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