Cooler heads prevail in protecting kids<\/p>\n
The Jakarta Post, Jakarta<\/p>\n
Fear has descended over many households in the last few months.<\/p>\n
A spate of child kidnappings, including several allegedly
\nmasterminded by two brothers who are believed to have sexually
\nassaulted and murdered some of their victims, has left many
\nparents like "Nila" watching their children's every move.<\/p>\n
"It's just so scary to me when I hear about what happened to
\nthe victims," said the working mother of two. "I now have to know
\nwhat they are doing all the time, just for my peace of mind."<\/p>\n
Even though many media have chosen to omit some of the more
\nsensational and gory aspects of the cases, fearing it will spur
\nthe kidnappers to more heinous acts, whip up scaremongering and
\nlead to copycat offenders, the basic facts are sobering enough.<\/p>\n
While the concern of parents like Nila is understandable,
\nthere is always the danger that an overreaction will transfer
\nirrational fears about others to their children.<\/p>\n
"No matter what, parents must stay calm and speak to their
\nchild in a child's language," noted child psychologist "Kak" Seto
\nMulyadi told The Jakarta Post.<\/p>\n
Parents can instill the concept of "constant vigilance"
\nthrough example, such as showing them how they lock the door at
\nnight "to keep bad people out".<\/p>\n
The latter can be described to the children as people who
\nforce them to do something or treat them inappropriately,
\nparticularly physically.<\/p>\n
It is also important to explain to children that such behavior
\nis not only done by "strangers", who are believed to be
\nresponsible for about 5 percent to 10 percent of cases of sexual
\nabuse, according to the U.S. Family Refuge center. The vast
\nmajority of cases of sexual abuse are committed by those close to
\nthe children, such as a relative, or person in authority.<\/p>\n
In the case of the brother suspects, they lived in an area for
\nseveral months and gained the trust of locals before allegedly
\nkidnapping the children.<\/p>\n
Children must be taught the difference between a "good" touch,
\nsuch as a gentle pat on the arm, and "bad", involving body parts,
\nsuch as the genitals, which are private.<\/p>\n
Seto added that children must be told that they have the right
\nto say no to someone if they touch them inappropriately, and
\nshout for help if the person persists.<\/p>\n
Parents could tell their children, "Mommy and Daddy love you,
\ntherefore we hug and cuddle you", but nobody else had that same
\nright.<\/p>\n
Seto said parents must always be cautious about entrusting
\ntheir children's care to others, even if it is a neighbor
\noffering to take a child to the mall unescorted. Although most
\nsexual offenders are men, in the case of the brothers, they are
\nsuspected of using a woman to lure the children.<\/p>\n
And the stereotype of the older, sexually frustrated pedophile
\non the prowl is often just that; the Family Refuge Center
\nestimates that 40 percent of offenders are adolescents.<\/p>\n
If a child has been assaulted, Seto said it was essential for
\nthe parents to face the situation as calmly as possible -- and
\nconsider the trauma of their son or daughter before their own
\npain or feelings of guilt about being "responsible".<\/p>\n
Parents should be sympathetic to the child, telling them that
\nthey realize they have been through a terrible experience but
\nthey have now returned to their family.<\/p>\n
Bombarding the child with questions about the assault -- or
\nleaving them prey to those seeking to sensationalize the story --
\nwould only do more harm than good, Seto said.<\/p>\n
Professional counseling would also be needed in helping the
\nchild's psychological recovery.<\/p>",
"url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/cooler-heads-prevail-in-protecting-kids-1447899208",
"image": ""
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"sponsor": "Okusi Associates",
"sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com"
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