Commuters clinch love affairs, rare dates<\/p>\n
By Johannes Simbolon<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): They leave at the same hour every morning, take
\nthe same bus or train, meet the same people, and stand by or sit
\nbeside the same person throughout the trip.<\/p>\n
Anything could happen. Including falling in love.<\/p>\n
\"Love affairs often develop among commuters. They may feel
\nreluctant to engage in affairs with colleagues because in the
\noffice people know each other. On the train people are mainly
\nanonymous. There is no fear that their romance will be
\nscrutinized by others,\" Tamrin Tomagola, a sociology lecturer at
\nthe University of Indonesia, told The Jakarta Post.<\/p>\n
\"Many commuters are placing their marriage in danger now
\nbecause of it,\" he added.<\/p>\n
Commuters living in Bogor, Tangerang and Bekasi not only lack
\nsleep, but also lack the time to maintain their relationships at
\nhome. Love affairs on buses and trains then happen.<\/p>\n
Commuters have less time for their spouses. They wake up
\nearly, hastily bathe and rush for the bus or train. They arrive
\nhome in the evening, already too tired to talk or do anything
\nelse to keep their families happy. Everybody goes to bed quickly
\nto get enough sleep to make it through the next day.<\/p>\n
\"I usually go to sleep after the World News (9:30 p.m.).
\nSometimes I do some work until 10 p.m.,\" said Sitorus, a Bekasi
\nresident who works in Blok M, South Jakarta.<\/p>\n
Couples who drive their own cars to work can use the time in
\ntraffic as a chance to talk.<\/p>\n
\"My office closes at 4 p.m. My wife's at 5 p.m. I fetch her
\neveryday. We have four hours, including the time we spend
\ntraveling to Jakarta and back home, to be together everyday. I
\nthink it's enough,\" said Johannes, a Tangerang resident who works
\nat a hotel in Blok M.<\/p>\n
To many commuters, Sundays are when family members gather to
\nrelax or occasionally visit relatives. But many people work on
\nSundays to make extra money.<\/p>\n
\"Free time on Sundays is still a luxury to most of us. There
\nare many people who work throughout the week,\" said Sartono
\nMukadis, a social-affairs observer.<\/p>\n
As two-income households increase, child rearing and education
\nbecomes a problem.<\/p>\n
Nurseries<\/p>\n
Some offices in Jakarta once opened in-office nurseries for
\ntheir employees, but they weren't popular and closed, said
\nTamrin.<\/p>\n
Commuters still prefer to leave their children in the care of
\ntheir relatives, parents and housemaids.<\/p>\n
Tamrin said people cannot expect to benefit from their
\nextended family much longer.<\/p>\n
\"We need to establish the community support system in every
\nhousing complex. Under the system, the complexes provide day-
\nnurseries and catering service. The latter is for couples who
\ncome home late in the evening and don't have time to cook. The
\nnurseries are to anticipate future problems when people will no
\nlonger be willing to take care of the children of their relatives
\nwithout pay,\" said Tamrin.<\/p>\n
Many parents still take time before bed to help their children
\ndo their homework. But most children only see their parents for a
\nshort in the morning and evening.<\/p>\n
\"The commuters rely 100 percent on schools to educate their
\nchildren,\" said Sartono.<\/p>\n
Distance is also a problem in socialization. Instead of
\nvisiting each other as rural communities do, people now use the
\ntelephone to communicate. People also tend to limit their social
\ncircles. Batak people, for example, used to often stage family
\ngatherings involving all people of the same family name. In
\nJakarta, they limit such gatherings to close relatives once a
\nmonth in order to save money, time and energy.<\/p>\n
Some migrants find it difficult to adjust to the new
\nsituation.<\/p>\n
Sitorus, a Batak, has a telephone at home but he still finds
\nit \"impolite\" to use the phone to invite his relatives,
\nespecially the relatives from his wife's side, to family
\ngatherings.<\/p>\n
He travels across Greater Jakarta over many days to visit them
\nindividually.<\/p>\n
\"It's terribly exhausting,\" commented Sitorus.<\/p>\n
Bachelors regret they can't spend long with their lovers.
\nPeople who have cars and phones can often visit and communicate
\nwith their loved ones. Those without must be satisfied with
\ninfrequent dates and entrust their relationships to survive on
\nthe power of love.<\/p>\n
\"I have a friend who lives in Tangerang and has a girlfriend
\nin Bekasi. If they make a date after office hours, he may leave
\nhis girlfriend's house at 10 p.m. and arrive home at midnight,\"
\nsaid Boby Arinto, a marketing agency's employee.<\/p>\n
Maybe they should glance at the person standing beside them on
\nthe bus tomorrow.<\/p>",
"url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/commuters-clinch-love-affairs-rare-dates-1447893297",
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