City weddings: Thousands feast, newly weds dutiful<\/p>\n
By Dini S. Djalal<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): The back entrance to the Sahid Jaya hotel was
\nfull of people. The driveway was littered with colossal flower
\narrangements spelling out \"Congratulations\". A Jakarta wedding
\nreception was underway.<\/p>\n
But it was not yet 7 p.m., and the bulk of the guests had yet
\nto arrive. The people cramming the doorway were not friends or
\nrelatives of the bride or groom, but tourists curious about all
\nthe glamour.<\/p>\n
\"Is this a party?\" asked a wide-eyed Dutch visitor under the
\ngold gate, erected especially for the occasion. The men and women
\nin traditional gold ensembles lining the hallway cordially
\nsmiled. Why go to a museum when samples of local culture are
\navailable down the hall of your hotel?<\/p>\n
Soon the bride and groom arrived, resplendent under a gleaming
\ngold umbrella. The glittering procession moved slowly, perhaps
\nbecause the bride's 10-kilo headdress pinned her to the floor. At
\nthe entrance of the ballroom, the procession stopped and stood
\nunder hot camera lights as a group of dancers greeted them. In
\ntraditional Minangkabau (West Sumatran) fashion, the dancers
\nmimicked pencak silat to the strains of pre-recorded traditional
\nmusic.<\/p>\n
\"We invited 3,500 guests tonight,\" a bejeweled woman gushed.
\nAs the first hundred guests made their way to the bridal podium
\nto offer congratulations, the rest anticipated the unveiling of
\nthe dessert tables. Countless Indonesian wedding receptions have
\ntaught them to dine first, shake hands later. I shamelessly did
\nthe same.<\/p>\n
Wandering through the maze of Puri Agung chambers, I felt like
\nChristopher Columbus discovering a new world. To accommodate all
\nthe guests, there were rooms and rooms of catered food.
\nEverywhere, overdressed guests overdosed on meat.<\/p>\n
What do vegetarians eat at these wedding receptions? There
\nwere stalls for kambing guling (barbecued lamb), sate ayam
\n(chicken satay), sate padang (Padang satay), chicken teriyaki and
\ndim sum. The food tables, composed of the same carnivorous fare,
\nwere devoured breathlessly. But hungry guests are good guests.
\nAt a catering rate of Rp 35,000 (US$15.5) a person, you may as
\nwell get your fill.<\/p>\n
The following is a conversation heard at the dessert table:<\/p>\n
\"So you work with the groom?\"<\/p>\n
\"No, the groom's father, years ago.\"<\/p>\n
\"My son knows the bride. Did you go to so-and-so's wedding
\nlast Sunday?\"<\/p>\n
\"Of course. Who didn't? But you have to excuse me, I have
\nanother reception to go to tonight at Manggala (Wanabakti).\"<\/p>\n
In the summer months, when weddings are most popular,
\nparticularly social families may attend four weddings in an
\nevening.<\/p>\n
In the last five years, weddings have evolved into ever more
\ngrandiose and money-oriented affairs. Every invitation is
\naccompanied by a note requesting monetary donations instead of
\ngifts. Today a newlywed couple prefer a mound of cash rather than
\na ton of toasters. It's a trade-off. Big weddings cost upwards of
\nRp 150 million ($66,666) -- Rp 110 million ($48,888) for the
\ncatering, Rp 35 million ($15,555) for the decorations and uniform
\n\"traditional\" outfits, Rp 15 million ($6,666) for the band, plus
\nother miscellaneous expenses. With generous guests, you may just
\nget your money back.<\/p>\n
Perversely, those who spend the most are those who don't need
\nthe money. After his big bash, a cousin complained that many of
\nthe envelopes he and his new wife received were empty. Some
\nguests were more cruel, leaving only Rp 100 notes (10 US cents).
\nLegends have surfaced from this ceremonious wedding culture.<\/p>\n
\"If you have a good suit or a nice dress, you can spend the
\nwhole week eating well, going from wedding to wedding. Nobody
\nchecks who you are,\" the grapevine advises.<\/p>\n
Especially not the bridal family. Busy making sure everything
\nis running smoothly, they can become oblivious to the crowd
\naround them. At her wedding, my sister, dressed in thick
\nembroidered velvet and standing under hot lights, fainted after
\nthree hours of shaking strangers' hands. Increasingly, wedding
\nreceptions are a means to reassert one's status in society,
\nrather than social occasions congratulating the newlyweds.<\/p>\n
Tradition is also increasingly taking a backseat to
\npracticality, with wedding organizers taking care of the
\nreception arrangements, from the bridal outfits to the
\ntraditional dancers.<\/p>\n
As I left the ballroom the hired band Las Morenos (\"They play
\nat the Presidential Palace!\" informed one guest) launched into
\nyet another version of La Bamba, just after completing a series
\nof Bee Gees ballads. Nobody danced. The bride and groom looked
\ntired. It was time to hit another reception.<\/p>",
"url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/city-weddings-thousands-feast-newly-weds-dutiful-1447893297",
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