Choosing a partner: What to consider<\/p>\n
By Aida Greenbury<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): Bobot, bibit and bebet.<\/p>\n
No, it's not the name of another law firm.<\/p>\n
I thought I should bring this up as I overheard a lady talking
\nreally loudly on her mobile phone yesterday. No, I wasn't
\neavesdropping. She was literally shouting. I think mobile phones
\nsomehow always manage to transfer their users into a secluded
\nspace where they think nobody is distracted by their ear-
\nsplitting conversation.<\/p>\n
She said: \"Yes, I'm going down to Perth next week. I won't
\nmarry him until I meet his family and know exactly what kind of
\ngene pool and background he came from. He has to be healthy
\ngenetically, if you know what I mean. It would be a disaster to
\nfind out one day that his brother has been treated in mental
\nhospital or something.\"<\/p>\n
For crying out loud! Who said that love is blind? Love is
\ncalculating, more likely.<\/p>\n
Just imagine hearing something as shallow as this: \"I really
\nlove you, I would marry you if your family wasn't allergic to
\nfuchsia. I really love fuchsia.\"<\/p>\n
Try to flip through the Indonesian-English Dictionary written
\nby John M. Echols and Hassan Shadily. You will find the words
\nbobot, bibit and bebet (Javanese descent) which means quality,
\norigin and rank. Also translated as qualities for ranking a
\nprospective son-in-law.<\/p>\n
In the good old days, parents of Javanese families applied the
\nthree criteria to screen their future son-in-laws. The first
\ncriteria, bobot, refers to the quality of the person. Ideally,
\npeople who have done a lot of good deeds fit the criteria. But
\nbobot can also be translated as weight. Yes, bodyweight. A lot of
\nJavanese people say that the heavier you are - the wealthier you
\nare. Of course, lots also believe that the grudging overweight
\ncommunity invented the saying.<\/p>\n
Bibit means seed, or origin. This relates to your family
\nbackground, whether you have 'normal' well-behaved parents and
\nsiblings or not. A few decades ago, blue-blooded gentlemen who
\nwere related to the kings and their associates were highly
\npreferred. In current times, within the modern society, these
\ntitles of nobility mean almost nothing.<\/p>\n
And last but not least is bebet, which means rank. Rank is a
\nbig thing in Indonesia. Sometimes it doesn't really matter
\nwhether your salary is hardly enough to feed a family or not, as
\nlong as you have a \"big name\" rank. Like \"Manager of Office
\nSanitation and Drainage Systems\", which can be simplified to
\njanitor, for example.<\/p>\n
There's one more thing which needs to be added to these
\ncriteria: health. Nowadays, there are so many diseases floating
\naround. New diseases, old diseases or some old viruses with a
\ncompletely new set of clothing and accessories. Human beings are
\nnot the only living things to follow trends.<\/p>\n
I heard that in the west, it is very common for a couple to
\ninspect each other's health certificates in preparation for a
\nwedding ceremony or, for that matter, a one-night stand. I think
\nit's a very clever thing to do. You never know what your good
\nlooking, loving and good-hearted spouse has been doing for the
\nlast twenty years before you met him\/her. This action, although
\nclinical, would probably help put an end to the spread of STDs,
\ndon't you think?<\/p>\n
So, what was it? Bobot, bibit and bebet and health
\ncertificates!<\/p>\n
The conclusion is, remember to always have your business
\ncards, family tree and health certificates ready in your
\nbriefcase. You never know when you might need them. Maybe even in
\nyour favorite bar downtown!<\/p>",
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"sponsor": "Okusi Associates",
"sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com"
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