Child marriages are rampant in Madura<\/p>\n
By Lies Marcoes-Natsir<\/p>\n
SUMENEP, Madura, East Java (JP): The ferry connecting the tip
\nof East Java and Madura island was moving slowly. The air was hot
\nand stinging on that noon day, and the slight ocean breeze did
\nnot help to temper the heat. It was the end of the dry season.<\/p>\n
An intensely Madurese atmosphere was at work here. This
\nexpressed itself not only in the special dialect they spoke, it
\nwas obvious too from the way they were dressed. Old and young
\nwomen covered their heads with an embroidered scarf or a Moslem
\nheadscarf. Gold jewelry adorned their bodies in a very eye-
\ncatching way. Women had heavy eye makeup, generously using black
\nkohl (celak) on the lower eyelids. The men use kohl too, and even
\nthe eyes of babies are daubed with the stuff, which is usually
\nimported from Mecca. Moslems do not regard it as a cosmetic.
\nFollowers of Prophet Muhammad use, and Madura has always been
\nknown as a profoundly Moslem region.<\/p>\n
A young teenage girl was sitting in the corner of the ferry
\nbridge, away from the scorching sun, carrying a baby in a red
\nbatik cloth. In one hand she was holding a plastic bag stuffed
\nwith baby clothing.<\/p>\n
When the baby started wriggling in her arms, she started to
\nrock the child. She unbuttoned her dress with an automatic
\nmovement and produced an undeveloped nipple. The baby in her arms
\ncould not suck it, and grew frustrated when it discovered that
\nthere was no milk.<\/p>\n
The girl pulled a bottle filled with milk from the plastic
\nbag. She put the dirty nipple of the bottle in her own mouth to
\nwet it first, then stuck it in the tiny mouth of the baby.<\/p>\n
The milk in the bottle looked cold, and it may well have been
\noff, which was perhaps why the baby rejected it. But she forced
\nthe nipple in until the baby choked on it.<\/p>\n
Bocak manak bocah (a child begetting a child), commented a
\nfriend of mine with a sigh of compassion.<\/p>\n
I was able to see why the mortality rate of mothers and babies
\non this arid island was higher than in Java. The maternal
\nmortality rate in Indonesia is among the highest of all ASEAN
\ncountries, 425 per 100,000, but in certain regions like Madura,
\nWest Nusa Tenggara and East Nusa Tenggara, the numbers might be
\neven higher.<\/p>\n
Certainly, limited health infrastructure and clean water are
\nsome of the causes of the high maternal mortality rate in these
\nparts of the archipelago. But economic and sociocultural factors
\nand religion are also important. These factors define the role of
\nwomen in public.<\/p>\n
The phenomenon of teenage pregnancies is not really unique to
\nMadura.<\/p>\n
Valuable information about child marriages came to light at a
\nrecent discussion on reproduction rights in Islam. Child
\nmarriages are a normal thing, even if the marriage laws state
\nthat marrying couples should have reached adulthood. Child
\nmarriages are still taking place a decade after the laws were put
\non the books.<\/p>\n
The stories quoted here were based on their own experience. A
\nyoung religious elder, Kyai Abdullah, explained that such
\nmarriages are not really strange. He chairs the Sumenep Islamic
\nCourt and teaches at a Moslem boarding school, where the training
\nwas held from Oct. 7 to 12.<\/p>\n
The Moslem Court in Sumenep registered at least 150 divorce
\ncases last year which were caused by conflict between the
\ncouples, as a result of forced child marriages.<\/p>\n
The stipulation that the bride should be at least 16 and the
\ngroom 18 is just a legal formality. Often a would-be bride gets
\nmarried two years after graduating from elementary school,
\nbetween 14 and 15. But ages can be manipulated by the village
\nchief for the registration at the Moslem Marriage Office (KUA),
\nso that the marriage is regarded as legal.<\/p>\n
In many cases, marriages are often conducted in a way called
\nsirri, or secretly. This mean that such a marriage is declared
\nlegal by religious law, even if it is not registered at the KUA.
\nEven if the state does not recognize such marriages, to most
\npeople in Madura this is not important, as long as the marriage
\nis recognized under religious law.<\/p>\n
Secret marriages take place when the couple have not reached
\nadulthood yet, they might still be children. Such marriages are
\nusually set up to link the couple's parents, who will marry them
\noff when the children grow up. The reasons are usually quite
\nsimple. For example, the parents feel that they have donated to
\nother people's weddings too often, they covet the donations they
\nare due for their children's wedding. After the tobacco harvest,
\nthere are lots of people who are suddenly rich, and marry off
\ntheir children at a very young age. Some parents marry the
\nchildren because they do not want to see their daughters lose
\ntheir virginity outside of marriage, which is against religious
\nteachings. Others do so because they are afraid that their
\ndaughters will spend their life in the dreaded state of
\nspinsterhood.<\/p>\n
Secret marriages do not always end in failure. One of the
\nparticipants in the recent discussion said that she married when
\nshe was still in boarding school, just before she took exams at
\nTsanawiyah Moslem Junior High School. When her father came to
\nfetch her for marriage, she felt that her life was crumbling
\napart and her future a bottomless dark pit.<\/p>\n
But after the marriage, her husband allowed her to continue
\nher studies and graduate from senior high school, and they then
\nled a good married life.<\/p>\n
Usually, children of sirri marriages are sent back to boarding
\nschool and "enter married life" three or four years later.<\/p>\n
Regardless whether or not a couple get along well, a sirri
\nmarriage is rarely "dangerous" if both of them are still minors.
\nThings are different if the groom is an adult and the bride is
\nnot.<\/p>\n
One participant from Madura who lives in Jember, East Java,
\nnow said she was married when she was a fifth grader in
\nelementary school, and her husband was 23 years old at the time.
\nIt is understood that in a sirri marriage the couple should not
\nlie together as husband and wife. But that's not the way it was
\nfor her.<\/p>\n
"My mother did not know that my husband frequently pinned me
\ndown and had his way with me. I was very scared but I didn't dare
\nscream. My mother would've been very angry if she'd known that
\nwe'd had sex before the time. I only wanted everything to be over
\nsoon, so that he would go home to his parents. Afterwards I'd go
\nto the bathroom, I couldn't urinate, my tears were falling
\nwithout me noticing it because of the excruciating pain I felt.
\nMy genitals became swollen, felt as big as a coconut, making it
\nhard for me to walk. But I forced myself to walk because I was
\nafraid of my mother."<\/p>\n
Pregnancy<\/p>\n
Marriage at a very young age, followed by sex and pregnancy is
\nclearly unhealthy for women. Especially because in Madura family
\nplanning is not allowed for religious reasons.<\/p>\n
With due respect to traditional knowledge and local culture,
\nthe traditional post-natal treatments with their generous use of
\n"Madurese ingredients" are perhaps not as hygienic as one would
\nhope.<\/p>\n
One training participant said there is a post-natal custom
\nwhere the woman is "plugged" after childbirth with a tampon made
\nof jati leaf containing hot ashes. The tampon stays there until
\nshe has finished her bath. This is supposed to benefit the womb
\nand shrink the vaginal lining. Post-natal infections are common
\nafter this treatment.<\/p>\n
The influence of sex is felt throughout daily life. In the
\npresent concept, however, the woman is steadfastly placed in a
\nposition where she has to perfect herself as much as she can with
\nthe aid of various herbs and potions to provide satisfaction to
\nher spouse, in spite of the pain she has to go through. And
\nvaginal fluids -- natural before intercourse -- are absorbed by
\ningredients rolled into cigar form in the vagina. This enables
\nthe husband to enjoy sex as if the wife had never lost her
\nvirginity.<\/p>\n
As is implied in the current television commercial for Idaman
\na traditional jamu made according to a Madurese recipe, husbands
\nare justified to grouch and look for another woman if their wife
\nno longer satisfies them.<\/p>\n
It is ironic when one remembers that the Islamic wedding
\nprinciple is based on fairness and mutual love.<\/p>\n
The writer works for the Indonesia Society for Pesantren and
\nCommunity Development (P3M) as a coordinator of an advocacy
\nprogram for health and reproduction rights of Moslem women.<\/p>",
"url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/child-marriages-are-rampant-in-madura-1447893297",
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