Can etiquette save a nation?<\/p>\n
M. Taufiqurrahman, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta<\/p>\n
The age-old question about the wellspring of corruption --
\nwhether it is part of human nature or conditioned by
\ncircumstances -- will remain an intellectual debate for years to
\ncome.<\/p>\n
But for Mien Rahman Uno the answer to that question is already
\nclear. It lies in Indonesian folks' disregard of etiquette, a
\ncode that governs the expectations of social behavior,
\nprescribing and restricting the ways they interact with each
\nother.<\/p>\n
\"Most people here, for instance, refuse to queue up,
\nregardless of the purpose. This is indicative of rampant
\ncorruption. The essence of corruption is the primacy of the end
\nover means -- people just want to get rich with no sweat,\" Mien
\nsaid.<\/p>\n
She gave as another example of dishonesty in society
\ninstances of both average Joes and state officials obtaining
\nunearned diplomas from uncertified colleges.<\/p>\n
\"One of the core values in etiquette is the respect for human
\nendeavors,\" Mien said.<\/p>\n
The self-proclaimed etiquette campaigner added that
\ncodes of ethics were not merely concerned with trivialities, such
\nas where a silver spoon was placed or the correct way for a
\n\"lady\" to sit, but served the purpose of teaching people to be
\nupstanding citizens.<\/p>\n
Unlike social commentators, who could be accused of sitting
\nback as society crumbled due to a lack of etiquette and ethics,
\nMien decided to take the plunge and promote good behavior through
\na variety of means.<\/p>\n
For starters, earlier this month Mien launched a book titled
\nEtiket: Sukses membawa diri di segala kesempatan (Etiquette: The
\nkey to good behavior on every occasion), a comprehensive list of
\ndos and don'ts that teaches readers everything from \"breaking the
\nice\" to dress codes for specific functions.<\/p>\n
The book, which took Mien almost 10 years to finish, draws on
\nher 40 years' experience in teaching etiquette. Although she
\nboasted that her experience could in fact fill another 100
\nvolumes.<\/p>\n
Designed as a promotional exercise to support book sales, Mien
\nwill soon embark on a nationwide tour to teach etiquette to the
\nmost \"unlikely of subjects\".<\/p>\n
First, she will visit eight locations in Jakarta for the
\nprogram.<\/p>\n
The book, published by publishing giant Gramedia Pustaka
\nUtama, will also be distributed for free to selected school
\nlibraries in the country.<\/p>\n
Writing the book and familiarizing people with its contents
\nare but two of Mien's attempts at revolutionizing society.<\/p>\n
On April 2001, after years of service at the John Robert
\nPowers modeling school, Mien founded the Duta Bangsa school, a
\nschool of public relations that offers training in various areas,
\nfrom public speaking to television and radio emcee-ing.<\/p>\n
It was with this institution that Mien struck a deal recently
\nwith the Ministry of Home Affairs for a project designed to teach
\netiquette to new civil servants and their spouses.<\/p>\n
Mien was hopeful that the program would do wonders for civil
\nservants -- who are notorious for their rule-breaking habits.<\/p>\n
\"We have long been regarded as having a tradition that highly
\nregards individual piety, but where have all the time-honored
\ntraditions gone now,\" Mien mused.<\/p>\n
Forty years of learning and practicing western-style etiquette
\nhas given Mien enough credentials to be considered Indonesia's
\nqueen of etiquette.<\/p>\n
She is known to pull up people for their bad manners in daily
\nlife, so that even friends and family might quickly rehearse
\nbefore approaching her.<\/p>\n
\"Whenever I run into friends or colleagues at a party, or any
\nfunction, at first they hesitate -- and when they do approach,
\nthe first question might be `Mien am I dressed correctly for this
\nfunction' or `Is this right way to place my spoon',\" Mien said,
\nchuckling.<\/p>\n
Such notoriety has also earned her a reputation as an expert
\nthat could turn people with unruly behavior into friendly and
\netiquette-abiding individuals.<\/p>\n
Duta Bangsa has enrolled, for instance, a whiny and
\nmisbehaving granny as well as a pushy and demanding husband, Mien
\nsaid.<\/p>\n
\"We accepted them, and we managed to make them into nice and
\ncooperative people -- speedily, to the surprise of their
\nfamilies,\" she said, in an interview at her spacious and elegant
\nhouse in the leafy and upmarket Kebayoran Baru.<\/p>\n
Mien's preoccupation with etiquette in her adult life seems to
\nhave been mapped out in early childhood.<\/p>\n
Born Rachmini Rahman 64 years ago in Indramayu, West Java to a
\nfamily of teachers, Mien was trained from an early age to
\nrespect discipline.<\/p>\n
She is the younger sibling of a teacher and renowned
\neducationist Arif Rahman. Another sibling is Rashid Rahman, the
\nman responsible for the Indonesian subtitles for almost all
\nHollywood films imported here, whose name always appears before
\nthe credits roll.<\/p>\n
Mien is also a big fan of Hollywood films.<\/p>\n
In their childhood years, such pearls of wisdom were displayed
\nin the Rahman family's house as \"don't waste your time\" and
\n\"everyone has to be home before dark\".<\/p>\n
Following in the footsteps of her parents, Mien enrolled at
\nthe teachers training institute (IKIP) in Bandung.<\/p>",
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