Being equal or simply being trashy?<\/p>\n
JAKARTA (JP): \"If you are not going to marry me by the end of
\nthis year, I'll go to my other boy friend in Holland. He'll marry
\nme -- yes, he will. And that will be the end of our relationship,
\nyou hear me?\" Yayuk, the twenty-something woman screamed at her
\nboyfriend.<\/p>\n
John, shocked to finally realize that there was a guy from the
\nother side of the world sitting in the back row all along,
\ncouldn't say anything else but: \"Yes, it's over. Go ahead, run to
\nyour spare tire.\"<\/p>\n
Yayuk was speechless, aware that her trick hadn't worked on
\nher boyfriend -- with whom she had been living for the past six
\nmonths. She felt thankful that there was still her good old loyal
\nsecond boyfriend waiting for her in the windmill country. Fine,
\nhe might already have one foot in the grave compared to her
\ncurrent young American stud, John. But she had tried her best,
\nnow it seemed that she had to settle for less.<\/p>\n
\"Playing smart -- double dipping, eh? Cheap woman!\" hissed
\nJohn as soon as Yayuk walked out the door.<\/p>\n
Anita has a different story. Starting when she was only
\nseventeen years old, altogether she had slept with more than half
\na dozen different guys before she settled down with her current
\nhusband. She confided to me that her past behavior was definitely
\nnot accepted by the local culture, but at the time she had no
\nother choice.<\/p>\n
\"I was probably searching for true love -- the perfect prince
\ncharming. It seems impossible to prove my feelings -- my genuine
\nlove -- without sleeping with them. I didn't do it for fun, lust,
\nlet alone for money. Of course I never told my husband that I had
\nthose experiences. He wouldn't accept it. He might think that I
\nwas a cheap woman or something,\" Anita admitted. She obviously
\ndidn't realize that having sex with a man doesn't help him fall
\nin love, make her more special to him, save a failing
\nrelationship or even guarantee a commitment will follow. In fact,
\nwhen a man is serious about a woman he will wait a long time for
\nsex. A lot of men would even wait for marriage. Anita might have
\nbeen the desperate kind -- though it was still her right to do
\nso. Don't men commonly practice it -- although for completely
\ndifferent reasons?<\/p>\n
The question is - why is it if a woman has out-of-wedlock sex
\nwith more than one man she is called a tramp? While if a man
\nspends half of his life sleeping around with more than a dozen
\nwomen it is considered normal or even a reflection of his being a
\nreal male or macho? It is a phenomenon in life that has been
\ntroubling me for quite a while already.<\/p>\n
A good friend asked me once. Why do I feel more comfortable
\nbeing friends with men than with women who have free sexual
\nlifestyles? I was befuddled for few minutes before I jumped to a
\nconclusion. Reason number one is that I am a female -- and quite
\nproud of it. Women carry the symbols of purity, dignity and many
\nother sacred titles. The bond amongst females in society makes me
\nfeel that women should behave accordingly -- be pure and
\ndignified.<\/p>\n
Reason number two, as long as the man of my life is not a
\nmember of the morally questionable group, then I don't give a
\ndarn. I think that some men are still carrying some ancestral
\nbarbaric traits. They've got the urge to mate without any feeling
\ninvolved. Why -- I consider male society is kind of alien, coming
\nfrom a different gene pool that is not related to female society
\nin general, or to me. They live by different moral standards.<\/p>\n
I'll give you some examples. One male friend, who happened to
\nbe still married, told me of his experience with a prostitute
\ndisguised as a masseuse at a health center a few weeks ago --
\nabout how much she charged him for the \"special service\" he had.
\nMy reply was shocking. I just laughed at him, told him how silly
\nhe had been; and that was it. I said in my mind that his behavior
\nsuited him well, he's a male, what do you expect? Do you think
\nthat I would have the same reaction toward a female who had gone
\nastray?<\/p>\n
Is it wrong to expect women to be virgins and pure while it is
\nacceptable for men to be just the opposite? Is it backward
\nthinking? Going back to medieval times?<\/p>\n
Why men behave the way they behave - God alone knows. But it
\nis also known that purity has been important to men from the
\nbeginning of recorded history. In fact several thousands of years
\nago, the ancient Greeks encouraged homosexual acts among men so
\nthat there would be virgins for them to marry. What a huge
\nsacrifice for them to make -- not so for the homosexuals of
\ncourse. This is definitely not a perfect solution though.<\/p>\n
The award winning hit comedy Sex and the City explores the
\nsexual and social lives of four single women who are searching
\nfor their own versions of happily-ever-after fairy tales. Men
\ncome and go. Nothing can keep these women apart as they stand
\nunited in their quest for love, sex and power. In every episode,
\neach woman has different lovers who never stay for long because
\nof their quirky flaws. This TV series has become more than a
\nreligion in some countries. The story of perfect 21st century's
\nheroines. Is this a prototype of emancipation or a competition
\nabout immorality? But again -- who am I to talk about morality
\nany way.<\/p>\n
--Aida Greenbury<\/p>", "url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/being-equal-or-simply-being-trashy-1447893297", "image": "" }, "sponsor": "Okusi Associates", "sponsor_url": "https:\/\/okusiassociates.com" }