A leap of faith: Taking the plunge in interreligious marriage<\/p>\n
Hera Diani, The Jakarta Post, Jakarta<\/p>\n
As the projector flickered, people in interfaith relationships
\ntold their stories.<\/p>\n
Indah said she and her siblings were labeled illegitimate and
\nmocked because their parents were of different religions.<\/p>\n
A married couple claimed there was never a problem; the
\ndifferences, in fact, helped their children become more tolerant.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, Hilmar told of being caught in the middle as both
\nhis parents and those of his girlfriend opposed their union.<\/p>\n
\"Both sides fear their future grandchildren will follow
\nanother religion than theirs. What's marriage for then, finding
\n(religious) followers?\" the young man said in exasperation.<\/p>\n
The documentary was part of the book launching and discussion
\nfor Tafsir Ulang Perkawinan Lintas Agama, Perspektif Perempuan
\ndan Pluralisme (Reinterpretation of Interfaith Marriage Through
\nthe Perspective of Women and Plurality).<\/p>\n
Published by Kapal Perempuan, a women's non-governmental
\norganization, and the New Zealand Agency for International
\nDevelopment (NZAID), the book tells of both successful and failed
\ninterfaith marriages, the perspectives of religious leaders and
\nscholars from different religions, as well as the legal
\nviewpoint.<\/p>\n
Interfaith marriage is still one of the most complicated and
\nsensitive issues in Indonesian society, involving a potential
\ntinder box of emotion-laden questions of religious right and
\nwrong, the state and the individual's right to choose a partner.<\/p>\n
Law No. 1\/1974 on matrimony states a marriage is only legal
\nwhen it is conducted according to one religion, which supports
\nthe stance of opponents of interfaith marriage.<\/p>\n
Many couples circumvent the legal restriction by getting
\nmarried under one religion, but then practicing their respective
\nfaiths. Others with more financial security opt to go abroad to
\nwed.<\/p>\n
In 2001, news circulated of a consortium -- with
\nrepresentatives from the government, non-governmental
\norganizations and UNICEF -- that was working on a bill to
\nlegalize interfaith marriage for those wishing to retain their
\nrespective religions.<\/p>\n
The plan has yet to be realized; even if it is, entrenched
\nattitudes cannot be changed overnight.<\/p>\n
Parents fear the assumption of others that they did not bring
\nup their children \"properly\". Young people, knowing the \"rules,
\nimmediately dismiss the notion of dating someone of another
\nfaith.<\/p>\n
The new book further illustrates how women, often oppressed in
\nthe domestic sphere, also face more societal pressure than their
\nmenfolk in interfaith marriages.<\/p>\n
In Islam, for instance, women are considered to have committed
\nadultery if they marry non-Muslim men, but it's not the same
\nstigma for men, who are expected to be able to convert their
\nwives to their faith.<\/p>\n
\"It forces women to obey all the rules aimed at them, which in
\nturn will make them sacrifice their love,\" said Yanti Muchtar of
\nKapal Perempuan in the book's introduction.<\/p>\n
Muslim scholar Siti Musdah Mulia cited research showing that
\nin unions of Muslim men with non-Muslim women, 50 percent of the
\ncouples' children took their father's religion.<\/p>\n
Conversely, when Muslim women married non-Muslim men, the
\npercentage was 80 percent.<\/p>\n
\"It indicates that a mother's influence on the children's
\nreligion is greater than the father's. It means the perception
\nthat women are weak and easily converted to other religions is
\nwrong,\" she said.<\/p>\n
According to Musdah, there is also a misconception of musyrik,
\nor those who worship others than God, whom Muslims are prohibited
\nfrom marrying.<\/p>\n
\"The common perception of musyrik is a non Muslim, whereas
\nworshiping others can mean worshiping money, wealth, anything,\"
\nsaid Musdah, an expert staff at the Ministry of Religious Affairs
\nand the secretary-general at the Indonesian Conference on
\nReligion and Peace (ICRP).<\/p>\n
She added that only three of the more than 6,000 verses in the
\nKoran address interfaith marriage.<\/p>\n
\"I urge people to be more critical, don't take religion for
\ngranted.\"<\/p>\n
Musdah also considers the restriction on interfaith marriage
\nas a political vehicle of the government to accommodate the
\ndemands of religious institutions.<\/p>\n
\"It's strange that for people who get married in other
\ncountries, their marriage is legal here although they are of
\ndifferent religions,\" said Musdah Mulia.<\/p>\n
Stranger still, Musdah said, was that after the Indonesian
\nUlemas Council (MUI) issued an edict in 1980 restricting all
\nMuslims from marrying out of Islam, its Jakarta branch announced
\nsix years later that Muslim men could marry non-Muslim women.<\/p>\n
\"But in 1994, the (second) edict was withdrawn,\" Musdah said.<\/p>\n
Meanwhile, another Muslim scholar, Hasanuddin, said that
\nIslam's origins date back to a time of conflict, and that as a
\nmissionary religion it originally set out to gain more followers.<\/p>\n
\"It's a whole different situation nowadays. There would have
\nto be empirical proof to show that interfaith marriage would make
\nthe Muslim population decline,\" said Hasanuddin, who teaches at
\nthe State Institute of Islamic Studies (IAIN) Jakarta.<\/p>\n
\"If interfaith marriages are legalized, it won't necessarily
\nlead to people of different religions marrying each other.
\nMarriages between different ethnic groups are allowed, yet still
\nmany people don't favor it.\"<\/p>\n
Women's right activist and minister Ester Mariani Ga,
\nmeanwhile, said that interfaith marriage was a \"gift\" of a
\npluralistic society but \"... The state should accommodate every
\nreligion's view on the legal state of marriage, and religion
\nshould not become a means to control their citizens\".<\/p>\n
Ultimately, marriage is about two people in love.<\/p>\n
Audience member Yati, a Catholic whose husband is a Muslim,
\nsaid she believed God only required people to behave properly.<\/p>\n
\"That's all that God's asking. So, we shouldn't be afraid of
\nany restrictions because they are lower than God's.\"<\/p>",
"url": "https:\/\/jawawa.id\/newsitem\/a-leap-of-faith-taking-the-plunge-in-interreligious-marriage-1447893297",
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"sponsor": "Okusi Associates",
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